My Dad

It’s funny what stands out to me these days. I know that there are hundreds, thousands of memories that I could share about you Dad. But these days I’m more touched by the memories that defined what it means to be a great Dad.

Some of these are like a colorful, pleasant collage. Here’s what I see.

You’re there in the football stadium bleachers or at the band concert, cheering me on. Next, you’re behind me as we hike on some long scout hike, probably with biting flies, but you don’t seem to mind. I also see you camping at the father’s and son’s campout, sitting with me around the fire. In another one you’re next to me helping me build a diorama of Hailey’s comet for the science fair – the comet looks funny, but it doesn’t matter - we did it together. In another picture you’re picking us up, honking the horn in your usual way to announce your arrival, taking us to your house for visits or to Dairy Queen for ice cream. One of my favorites is going to pick apples, and of course driving us around the orchard and letting us take the wheel. What fun!

But there are other images too. Harder. Less pleasant. But still important.

You’re giving mom the child support checks, week after week, year after year - they represent a lot of sacrifice, and none of the kids really understand how much. Another moment in time...you’re trying to decide how to stay in Ypsilanti so you can be near us, but the jobs in that area stink. No matter, you’re going to make it work - you need to be near your kids. In another we’re at Meijers. It’s back to school time, and you’re trying to figure out how to buy shoes for a bunch of kids on a tight budget. It means saying “no” to the fancy new shoes, and yes to the generic ones. You have to make it work, and you do.

A lot of people think being a Dad is easy, but it is actually very complicated. Like you, I want to provide the best that I can for my family. So we do mundane jobs, we make sacrifices, we put away our dreams, and we do it with a smile.

The older I get, the more I realize that the role of a Dad is to teach, train, guide, and lead. You cannot force your kids to be something that isn’t them. You can only recognize their potential and help them be the best they can be. You did that for me. You encouraged me to take a different path, and you supported me along the way. And I think it’s worked out for me. I’m happy and doing well for myself, in my own way. Without a parent who is willing to say “it’s ok to take your own path”, I don’t know that I would have done it. But you said it was ok, and you held my hand along the way.
I love you Dad with all of my heart. Thank you for the good you gave me, and for sheltering me through the storms of life. Thank you for being such a wise, thoughtful, talented Dad.