My daughter Maddie is a
tremendously sweet, smart, creative girl. But like most 3 year olds, she lacks
patience. Many evenings she might say “I want to go to the park.” I must be
very careful how I respond, because if I say “sure, we can go to the park” she
will immediately interpret that to mean we can go to the park now. And if I say “we’ll go in a
few minutes” she will say “I want to go now”. And she’ll say it again and again
until I can’t take it anymore. She’s very persistent, but not very patient.
Part of her lack of
patience is that she really loves to play and really wants to go to the park. It’s
a good desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the other part is that she
doesn’t have a good sense of time, so if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” that doesn’t mean
as much to her. She wants it NOW.
In the eternal scheme of
things I think sometimes we must seem like 3 year olds to Heavenly Father. We
look up to him and ask:
When will I get married?
When will I get a job?
When will I have a family?
When will my health improve?
When will my children
return to the Church?
These are all righteous
desires. But they all have the component of time associated with them, and it’s
in the waiting that we become frustrated. And it’s this reason that we need
patience so much - because sometimes God’s answer to us is “be patient.”
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said
“Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when
we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better
than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than
His”.
Patience is closely related
to many Christ-like attributes, but especially to hope and faith – because
sometimes we are required to wait for the promised blessings of the Lord to be
fulfilled. President Monson said, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and
others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of
challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we expect instantaneous
solutions to such challenges forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of
patience is required”.
I know that I’ve questioned
Heavenly Father and his timing before, when my patience was tried and tested.
Let me share one personal example.
When Melanie and I were
first married, we looked forward to having children. That’s a righteous
blessing, and our patriarchal blessings told us we would have children. So we
had faith. And we waited. But year after year, nothing but frustration and
hopelessness as we wondered what God’s plan was for us and our family. We were
frustrated when people would say things to us or ask us when we were going to
have kids. Of the many challenges that our family has undergone, I think this
test challenged our faith and patience in God’s plan more than any other thing.
More than 7 years ago,
during this time of great frustration and test of patience we were having a
particularly troubling stretch. My sweet wife Melanie was diagnosed with
cancer, and underwent a series of treatments. Shortly after her second surgery
we received a surprising call. Through the blessing of LDS Family Services we
were selected to adopt a beautiful little girl. In the middle of this tremendously
difficult time, the blessing that we had hoped and waited for was finally about
to come to pass. The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. A few weeks
later, and in the most unexpected way and time, our little Abby came into our
home.
If we had it our way, and
on our timeline, it’s possible that Abby might never have come to our home. A
million things had to happen to us, and to others, to orchestrate that miracle.
I think it’s safe to assume that had we been able to have children when we wanted
to, we never ever would have had Abby. It wouldn’t have been part of the plan. That
experience really helped us understand that God has a plan, and that when we
are patient we will be blessed more than we could ever know.
I think each of you have
had many similar experiences. The characters have changed, and the challenges
are different. Some are bigger, others smaller. But each of us will face
challenges or mortality. And when we patiently endure, we will be redeemed.
In God’s eyes, he sees us on
an eternal journey. This leg, called mortality, is important, but it’s part of
a long eternal journey. And when we patiently and faithfully endure the trials
of mortality, we grow closer and closer to becoming more like our Father.
C.S. Lewis put it in a way
that I love. He asked us to imagine that you are a living house. We invite God
into our life, and ask him to rebuild that house. But like most things, this
takes time and is harder than we thought it would be. At first, perhaps, we
understand what He is doing. He is fixing the plumbing and repairing the roof –
things you knew needed to have done and so we’re not surprised. But then He
starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts too much, and does not seem
to make sense. What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He
is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out
a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making
courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage:
but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. And he
is patient in this pursuit. God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy and he
will continue to work on us, here and there, patiently building little perfect
beings.
Elder
Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said this: “[The Lord]
gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion
which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to
where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally
entails discomfort and pain.”
With patience we gain a
better perspective. We realize that time is something that is only measured to
man, not to God. We understand that the difficulties and challenges that we
undergo in this life are only a small thing, and that if we endure it well we
will be exalter.
Martin Luther King Jr. once
said “unearned suffering is redemptive”. I think part of what that means is
that when we go through challenges, when we patiently endure suffering, we are
changed. Our faith is tested, but not broken. And patience is the attribute that
makes that possible.
Patience is a lost virtue
in today’s society. We demand things immediately, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
So much is so easily gained, that we forget that every good thing that ever
comes does so line upon line, precept on precept. My prayer today is that we
will each step back and patiently wait on the Lord’s blessings. One thing is
sure…it will certainly be worth it.
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