A little update

Since Jan I've been pretty focused on getting healthy. MyFitness Pal is awesome and I'm using it religiously. I weigh myself every day. And work out five times a week. And I'm down 18lbs. That's all :)

Fun with Abby and Maddie...

Today I had the opportunity to join Abby on her BIG 14th birthday for a field trip to the Natural History museum. It was fun to see her interacting with a bunch of teenagers...she really stands out with poise, a strong internal sense of self, courage to do hard things, and a solid head on her shoulders. She was put with a bunch of kids that she didn't know, and even though she was uncomfortable she did a great job having fun, doing the lessons, and being a kid.

I spoke with a few teachers and they glowed about what a great kid Abby is, etc.

After work I ran, and fortunately made it, to Maddie's teacher conference. Maddie is doing a great job in school - she's exceeding in everything and doing so very well. Some of the comments about Maddie included: she's darling, on task, organized, helps other kids, is a born leader, excelling at everything. I was most proud of Mrs. Blankinship saying how Maddie has done a great job of helping a girl in her class who needed a friend and that the other day, during recess, she went and found a girl who was alone and invited her to play. I loved smart and advanced, but that's what gets me truly happy.

There's one smart boy in Maddie's Class

How do I know? Um, this.

It begs the question: Why?

Is it her beauty? Kindness? Intelligence? Humor? Good nature? Sweetness? Maybe all the above?

Another interesting note: some Mom said to Melanie:

"My son said that every girl bugs him, except Maddie".

In Honor of Abby's 14th Birthday...

I want to share my recollections regarding her birth.

First, it’s important to understand that Mom and I were very interested in having a baby. So when we struggled and struggled to get pregnant, it wore on us very much. It wore us down physically, spiritually, and mentally. We struggled to have a baby for six years, undergoing test after test, procedure after procedure.

We were somewhat convinced that we would never have a baby on our own. So we began the adoption process. We used LDS Family Services because of the spiritual nature of the adoption process. When you want to adopt a baby, it’s kind of a long process. You need to write an introductory letter to potential birth mothers that help them understand you and determine if you’re a good fit for the type of home they want to place their baby. You submit pictures, a letter from your Bishop, financial information, and have a home study where they come to your home to see where you’ll be raising the baby and to determine if you are fit for having a baby.

We figured if we did this, that someday we would be chosen. We had no idea if or when, but also figured that if it were the right thing God would show His Hand.

In the course of waiting a thoughtful doctor discovered a tumor in Mom’s thyroid that proved to be cancerous. Mom was scheduled for a surgery in which the tumor and Mom’s thyroid were removed. Unfortunately, we learned a few short days later that they missed some of it and if you don’t remove it all, it could return or spread. So Mom went into surgery again.

It was a hectic, terrible period of time for us. I was getting my MBA and commuting to SLC every day early in the morning. Mom was working. Add in the sadness about the cancer as well as the infertility, and you can imagine what a tough time we were having.

A few weeks after the cancer, while Mom was recuperating at home we got an unexpected call from LDS Family Services. Tom, our caseworker, wanted to meet us the following evening and share some news with us. It was exciting and nerve wracking 24 hours!

On the day he was to come, Mom was busy doing her hair in the next bathroom. While she was doing so, she heard a voice say, “It’s a girl, and her name is Abby.” She heard it distinctly enough so as to relate it to me. We put it aside and continued getting the house and ourselves ready.

Tom came to our home that evening with a letter and some news. We had been selected by a young couple named Katie and Kyle who had selected us to place their baby girl. They wanted to meet us, tomorrow in Farmington, Utah.

If you think it was nerve wracking to get the news, try preparing for that next day. We drove up to Farmington in our green Mazda 626 nervous as can be. They still had every option, including choosing another family or keeping the baby for themselves.

We sat down in the room with their caseworker and Tom (I think). In came Katie and Kyle. I can picture them in my mind…she was wearing overalls and looked so young. Kyle too looked so little.

What do you talk about? What do you say? I don’t honestly remember anything. All that I remember was this awkward feeling of not really knowing what to say.

Kyle asked if we had thought of a name. I replied that we had liked the name Grace, but that Melanie thought we should name her Abby.

They both got a shocked look on their face. They looked…surprised. They replied that they ever since they had found out it was a girl that they had been calling her Abby and were themselves unsure how they could call her anything else. In that moment we decided that your name would be Abby, as spoken by God.

The tension or awkwardness disappeared. We found out other things that just kind of made it feel right. Katie’s grandparents were serving a mission in Jamaica at the time and Nettie’s birthday was the same as mine.

We spent time with them and grew to love them in that moment.

Fast-forward a few weeks. We had told very few people because these things fall through and we didn’t want to have to un-tell people. But we prepared Abby’s little room in the Country Woods condo.

Abby was born on Feb 3, 2002 in Salt Lake City. We didn’t find out till Monday since the adoption service was closed, but was informed that following Monday to return to Farmington on Tuesday, Feb 5 where Abby would be placed with us.

February 5 was the most bittersweet day in our lives. We arrived and were asked to sit in a room. Shortly afterward we saw Katie and Kyle, along with their families, arrive. Katie and Kyle went into a different room. Their families came in separately and spent time with us. It seemed like hours that we spoke with them, learned about them, and shared our story. I remember the Snelgroves were very open and friendly. The Craigs were more reserved and harder to talk to.

Hours went by. Then we heard a faint cry in a different part of the location. It was the first time we’d ever heard Abby’s little voice. A few minutes later Katie and Kyle entered the room with Abby in a beautiful little dress. It was as small as an Doll’s dress. Abby was simply perfect. I remember just holding her, and Melanie, and Katie and Kyle. The only words I remember saying were, “She’s perfect”. You were!

They didn’t stay long. We said our goodbyes – for them, maybe they thought forever – and we just held Abby and looked at her and cried. I’ve never cried more in my life – both for the immense joy and blessing we had in looking at Abby.

It was a cold, February day when we took you home. We called our Moms and families and took you home and loved you more than we had ever loved anyone before.

There were so many lessons in that experience.

God has a plan for each of us.

God knows our name.

Sometimes we need to wait on the Lord. But his blessings are sure.

It is in our darkest moments when God is most there.

Recently, while studying the scriptures...

This verse in Matthew (27) stopped me.

 35 And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots.

I stopped for a minute and thought about this. While it doesn't specifically call out in the scriptures, he was probably very poor. He had no where to lay his head, no home to call his own. He was rarely in the same place, and I imagine if he had any possessions they were on his person. With no money, his clothing was probably given to him by people who loved him and worried about him. I imagined (to myself) that his coat might have come from his Mother, Mary, or maybe a hand-me down from Joseph. 

While the Son of God, he still was mortal. He appreciated his few small things. He treasured his coat.

Which is why I stopped on this. 

In front of him, in the midst of being accused, tortured, and prepared for execution, even his clothing was stripped from him in a final moment of humiliation. 

As I read this, I felt such sadness for Jesus. 

I'm staring down my biggest enemy...

In a meeting.

There's several boxes of donuts looking at me. I'm looking at them. We stare each other down.

But today I'm strong. Saying no.

Today I win.

I wrote this on September 22, 2014 regarding a special experience I had in Sammamish, Washington

About two months ago a recruiter from Amazon reached out to me inquiring about a role for a new, confidential product for small businesses. I’ve interviewed with Amazon for a number of roles and for some reason this one stood out to me as a ground floor opportunity. So I had a few informationals with people on the team for me to learn about them, them to learn about me. Each time they wanted to keep moving forward, but I was hesitant and had reservations about working at Amazon. Still, I’ve always believed in turning down offers, not opportunities, so I went forward.

A few weeks ago I was invited for an in person interview. I didn’t know at the time how hard these are to win. I accepted but was not interested, honestly, based on what I’ve heard about Amazon’s culture, pay, and commute. But I felt like it is always good to practice interviewing even though in my heart I was not interested. In fact the day before the interview I was tempted to cancel the interview. Why spend the time going to Seattle for a day of interviews? But not wanted to burn bridges I went forward assuming that I would either not be the right candidate or the offer would be easy to turn down.

I normally have a pre-interview process that I go through, but since I didn’t care if I took it or not I did a little studying in the morning before the interview and then headed out. I was not worried either way.

It was a tough, full day of interviews. If I’m honest I would give myself a very poor grade. It was a constant peppering of questions with little time for discussion – just them asking and me talking for 5 hours. Plus although they bought me a salad for lunch there was no time to eat it so by the end I was tired, hungry, and had low blood sugar. All in all, it was not a great performance on my part.

I called Melanie on the way home and said, “That sucked. There’s no way I would ever take that job. I didn’t like the people and blew it.” Good experience, but not the next big thing.

To my astonishment the recruiter called two days later and offered me the job. I was surprised that they were serious about moving forward with me, but it is always good to hear the offer details. She shared what it was but also asked about my current compensation. Fortunately, I had two very good years at MS and so was able to state a fairly high number. Without even asking she offered to go to the compensation board and push for more. The next day she brought a very compelling offer that exceeded my expectations. Now I was really interested and began thinking and pondering.

As I did so one night I decided to read the Book of Mormon and opened up immediately to the part in 1 Nephi when Nephi had returned from his glorious vision and found his brothers bickering over an interpretation of a dream. Nephi, hearing this, asked them if they had “inquired of the Lord?” This question brought to mind that I needed to sincerely ask God for help in deciding. So I did, in more earnest and sincerity. I continued to study, discuss, and look at the pros and cons…but also asked God to help me know and to make it clear to me how I should proceed.

The recruiter was heading out on vacation and so I had extra time to decide. During her absence rumors started to circulate about a reorg and layoff. Although I was unhappy in the role, I did not think I would be touched as my role was still a significant amount of work. I pushed the recruiter off till Thursday with the hope of seeing where I would land as part of the reorg. Maybe I would land on a better team where I’d have a good manager, or have a new opportunity that was better?

The Thursday morning came and I was invited to meet with my VP. At first I figured he wanted to explain the reorg and discuss what would happen to me as I would now be in a different org. But as I thought about it, I quickly realized there was a good chance of being laid off. I was nervous when I went in and received the bad news. When I showed up it was the VP and some HR wonk. I said, “this doesn’t bode well.” In fact I had been riffed as part of the reorg. Six years of Microsoft experience, including several years of strong reviews (1, 1, 2) were over. It was discouraging and humiliating. I felt hurt and betrayed.

But I also knew something they didn’t know. I had the Amazon offer. I went from being 85% leaning towards Amazon to 100% in an instant. I was a bit on pins and needles while I waited to chat with the recruiter, but when we spoke that evening and told her I was committed we were both excited.

We’ve often felt like there was a purpose in coming to Seattle. The Microsoft job was a miracle initially, and this was another example of God watching out for us. Had I been laid off without a job we would have put this house on the market and headed to Utah for a simpler life. But now I have a great job at Amazon, have a month off to get ready, and have a nice severance. Plus the great Amazon pay and compensation on top. All of these are great blessings.

And that’s what I learned for myself – that God has a plan for us. He had one for me. I have no idea why he took such care to orchestrate this blessing and miracle but he did. He started working on this months before I needed it. He kept it going when I didn’t see the opportunity. Those who interviewed me saw something in me that I didn’t think was there which helped me land the job. And the timing was simply without question a miracle. I was never really even unemployed. It all fit together like a puzzle. It is humbling to think of this blessing.

A friend shared a scripture I had never heard before when I told him of of my decision making process around Amazon (and I hadn’t told him of Microsoft) that is found in Psalms 37: 23 which reads “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” I don’t consider myself a particularly good man or more deserving of blessings than the next person. But I do believe that if we put our lives in his hands, make covenants, and do our best to serve he will help order our steps.

I gave this talk in Redmond, Washington in 2009

The title of my talk today is Waiting Patiently on the Lord.

My daughter Maddie is a tremendously sweet, smart, creative girl. But like most 3 year olds, she lacks patience. Many evenings she might say “I want to go to the park.” I must be very careful how I respond, because if I say “sure, we can go to the park” she will immediately interpret that to mean we can go to the park now. And if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” she will say “I want to go now”. And she’ll say it again and again until I can’t take it anymore. She’s very persistent, but not very patient.

Part of her lack of patience is that she really loves to play and really wants to go to the park. It’s a good desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the other part is that she doesn’t have a good sense of time, so if I say  “we’ll go in a few minutes” that doesn’t mean as much to her. She wants it NOW.

In the eternal scheme of things I think sometimes we must seem like 3 year olds to Heavenly Father. We look up to him and ask:

When will I get married?

When will I get a job?

When will I have a family?

When will my health improve?

When will my children return to the Church?

These are all righteous desires. But they all have the component of time associated with them, and it’s in the waiting that we become frustrated. And it’s this reason that we need patience so much - because sometimes God’s answer to us is “be patient.”

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His”.

Patience is closely related to many Christ-like attributes, but especially to hope and faith – because sometimes we are required to wait for the promised blessings of the Lord to be fulfilled. President Monson said, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required”.

I know that I’ve questioned Heavenly Father and his timing before, when my patience was tried and tested. Let me share one personal example.

When Melanie and I were first married, we looked forward to having children. That’s a righteous blessing, and our patriarchal blessings told us we would have children. So we had faith. And we waited. But year after year, nothing but frustration and hopelessness as we wondered what God’s plan was for us and our family. We were frustrated when people would say things to us or ask us when we were going to have kids. Of the many challenges that our family has undergone, I think this test challenged our faith and patience in God’s plan more than any other thing.

More than 7 years ago, during this time of great frustration and test of patience we were having a particularly troubling stretch. My sweet wife Melanie was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a series of treatments. Shortly after her second surgery we received a surprising call. Through the blessing of LDS Family Services we were selected to adopt a beautiful little girl. In the middle of this tremendously difficult time, the blessing that we had hoped and waited for was finally about to come to pass. The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. A few weeks later, and in the most unexpected way and time, our little Abby came into our home.

If we had it our way, and on our timeline, it’s possible that Abby might never have come to our home. A million things had to happen to us, and to others, to orchestrate that miracle. I think it’s safe to assume that had we been able to have children when we wanted to, we never ever would have had Abby. It wouldn’t have been part of the plan. That experience really helped us understand that God has a plan, and that when we are patient we will be blessed more than we could ever know.

I think each of you have had many similar experiences. The characters have changed, and the challenges are different. Some are bigger, others smaller. But each of us will face challenges or mortality. And when we patiently endure, we will be redeemed.

In God’s eyes, he sees us on an eternal journey. This leg, called mortality, is important, but it’s part of a long eternal journey. And when we patiently and faithfully endure the trials of mortality, we grow closer and closer to becoming more like our Father.

C.S. Lewis put it in a way that I love. He asked us to imagine that you are a living house. We invite God into our life, and ask him to rebuild that house. But like most things, this takes time and is harder than we thought it would be. At first, perhaps, we understand what He is doing. He is fixing the plumbing and repairing the roof – things you knew needed to have done and so we’re not surprised. But then He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts too much, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. And he is patient in this pursuit. God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy and he will continue to work on us, here and there, patiently building little perfect beings.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said this: “[The Lord] gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”

With patience we gain a better perspective. We realize that time is something that is only measured to man, not to God. We understand that the difficulties and challenges that we undergo in this life are only a small thing, and that if we endure it well we will be exalter.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said “unearned suffering is redemptive”. I think part of what that means is that when we go through challenges, when we patiently endure suffering, we are changed. Our faith is tested, but not broken. And patience is the attribute that makes that possible.

Patience is a lost virtue in today’s society. We demand things immediately, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So much is so easily gained, that we forget that every good thing that ever comes does so line upon line, precept on precept. My prayer today is that we will each step back and patiently wait on the Lord’s blessings. One thing is sure…it will certainly be worth it.

I gave this talk in 2010 in Sammamish Washington

There’s a concept that drives a lot of key marketing decisions and investments called “Branding”. A brand is a "name, term, sign, symbol or design, or a combination of them intended to identify the goods and services of one seller and to differentiate them from those of other sellers.”

Companies around the world spend hundreds of millions of dollars defining their brand. They then spend billions more building it to the point where people around the world instantly recognize the brand and attribute some value to it. This work pays off. Google landed the world’s top brand recently – its brand alone was valued at $100 Billion. Microsoft was #2, with a brand valued at $76 Billion. A brand is not a tangible asset per se; this is about a value or feeling that is implied.

Good brands are about authenticity and reinforcement.

Authenticity means that what you’ve said, and what has been experienced by the customer, are the same. People put value in authentic brands. This is one of the reasons why Toyota is in such trouble right now with its recent engineering troubles. For years it has built a brand based on quality engineering, and has previously been able to claim that in an authentic way. Now, they have a lot of work to do to rebuild that trust.

Reinforcement means that customers have a consistent experience each time. McDonalds is the epitome of this idea. Whether you go to a McDonald’s in Tacoma or Taipei, you should have a similar experience. When you go to DisneyWorld in Orlando or Paris, you should have a similar experience. There shouldn’t be great swings in the level of experience as a way to protect their brand.

The world’s best brands know the importance of these attributes, and protect their brands religiously.

As I thought about this talk, I asked myself: What is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint brand? I think our Faith is defined in many ways by those we come in contact with every day…some good, some not so good.

I heard a story recently that reinforces this point.

A woman was driving on the streets of Las Vegas when she pulled up to an intersection.  Stuck behind a car that wasn’t making a turn properly, she yelled and screamed profanities at the driver and made common unpleasant gestures. The police pulled her over, handcuffed her, and took her to the station. She continued in a similar way all the way to the station. After several hours of waiting a policeman finally came to take the handcuffs off of her. She demanded to know why she had been held so long for merely cursing and gesturing at an intersection. The policeman then told her that’s not why they pulled her over. They had suspected she had stolen the car. The woman, stunned, said, “Why would you think that?” The officer explained that when they saw her behavior, they were surprised. But they thought it was stolen when they saw the bumper stickers “RULDS2” and “Families can be together forever” on the back of her car.

Clearly, she did not exemplify the brand that these officers were used to.

The Brand “Mormon”

How people perceive our Faith is based on what they see and what they experience. If they see us as faithful, family-oriented, God-fearing, Christians who do good works, they see us in a positive light. My friend at works says “Mormons are the nicest people I know”. That’s a compliment to me and the other Mormon friends that she has had over the years.

Unfortunately, others have different opinions.

As the face to the Church, we are the brand ambassadors for our religion. And like it or not, we will define our religion for everyone we come in contact with. Is this a lot of responsibility? Yes. Does it require us to think before we speak or act? It does.

For my talk today, I want to suggest that Latter-day Saints can authentically own a very important Christ-like quality that will act like a light in the darkness and bring people to the Truth. That branding quality is Service, and the single idea for my talk is:

Let service define you

King Benjamin taught “When you are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God.”

Jesus taught us “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.”

More recently President Monson said, “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish – and in effect save their lives.”

I think about a story I heard once. A hurricane had ravished a town, and because Latter-day Saints are easily mobilized and a highly-trained workforce, they were some of the first responders. Days later, while continuing to work in the area a neighbor approached one of the Latter-day Saints and said “We really appreciate your help with all of this. There are two churches who have really shown us what it’s like to be a Christian: The Mormons and those people from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”.

This is a good brand experience.

President Monson said, “I am confident it is the intention of each member of the Church to serve and to help those in need. At baptism we covenanted to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light.” How many times has your heart been touched as you have witnessed the need of another? How often have you intended to be the one to help? And yet how often has day-to-day living interfered and you’ve left it for others to help, feeling that “oh, surely someone will take care of that need.”

He continued, “We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes.”

Service opportunities are within eye sight of you today. There are people around you today who are in need. These are people you pass in the hallways in church, who may not feel welcome here. You might say “that happens in other wards, but it does not in my ward”. This is simply not true. Within the sound of my voice is someone who needs a hand of friendship. Who needs your hand of kindness. If we fail here, we will fail out there. So let’s firm up our resolve to help our Church brothers and sisters. Let us be liberal in our service. Let us become addicted to it.

I want to tell you about two people, both very different and yet very much the same.

Father Rick is a doctor and he runs an orphanage in Haiti. The stories that we hear from him will break your heart. Here’s one:

“The unbelievable had happened. Sister Abha was shot. How could they do this? The Sisters live with the poor, they live poorly themselves, they care for the worse of the poor. Especially Sister Abha, who opened their mission in Haiti, with Mother Teresa herself, twenty eight years ago. She has worked tirelessly in Haiti for all these years. To add salt to the wound, the shooting was ordered and paid for by a young man she had taken off the streets and raised from the time he was a small child. Fortunately she had pushed the arm of the thief as he fired, and the bullet pulverized one of the bones of her forearm rather than piercing her chest. We were able to get her to Florida right away for surgery. I called her a few days after her surgery and asked if she would return to Haiti. She told me that God’s goodness to her, especially following the shooting, obliged her to continue to care for the poor of Haiti wholeheartedly. Besides, we will all die one day anyway. It does not matter how or when or where. It only matters how we have lived.

As we were organizing for Sister’s Abha’s emergency care, the phone kept ringing about other kidnapped people and other people shot in areas of conflict. We were back to the slums again. This time the special police force was there. I told them I had to go into the slum for an old man who was shot in the abdomen and a young girl shot through the thigh. They told me they could not give me cover. I told them I didn’t need cover.

They told me I would be killed if I went in. I told them I knew I would not be killed. They asked me why, was I a gangster too? Was I a friend of gangsters? I told them I am a doctor and a priest, and unless they themselves shot me, I knew I would not be shot.

Four of us went in with two stretchers. Eight of us came out. (Aside from the two wounded, two young men offered to help carry the stretchers out.) Not a shot was fired by anyone from the minute we set foot into the slum until we left. When we came out unharmed, the special police gave us a full scale scathing and search.  They were sure we were criminals. We had to be, if we could circulate freely in the slum. They searched us, and when they were done we rushed the wounded, once more, to the emergency room of Doctors Without Borders.”

The other example of service I want to high-light is my mother-in-law.

She has always led a simple, humble life. There is nothing pretentious about her. Year after year she makes due with very little…she earns in a year what most of us earn in a month. She has suffered her entire life from terrible, debilitating diseases which restrict her functionality. Yet, she is constantly on the lookout for service opportunities. She is like Mother Theresa in that she cares for the downtrodden and forgotten. She will bring meals to the sick or home bound. She writes letters or cards to those who have no family. She invites the lonely into her home. She has so little, but day after day, month after month she finds ways to serve. These are not the people she visit teaches – it’s not an obligation that she fulfilling. It’s a way of life. No one knows that she does it, but she does it. These are the poor, meek, and mild. These people need tenderness, and she administers to them constantly.

What is similar about these two examples? They both exemplify the Spirit of Christ in dolling out service. Both give willingly and openly, with no thoughts of recompense, recognition, or praise. Both of them have trained their eyes to watch for those in need. They have let service define their life.

When I read Matthew, 25, it says:

 “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

“For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

“Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

“Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

“When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

“Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

The essence of these sacred verses is this: we are here to serve our fellow travelers on this journey through life. But how? We must train ourselves to look for it.

We do not see easily find people who are starving in Sammamish. But we do see people hungry for friendship or Truth. We do not see people thirsty for water. But we see people struggling to keep their heads above water. We may not see people who need a roof over their heads, but we see people who need an arm of comfort.

President Monson said, “An attitude of love characterized the mission of the Master. He gave sight to the blind, legs to the lame, and life to the dead. Perhaps when we [face] our Maker, we will not be asked, ‘How many positions did you hold?’ but rather, ‘How many people did you help?’ In reality you can never love the Lord until you serve Him by serving His people.”

I think Jesus is saying “Err on the side of too much love and too much service. Be indulgent. Go overboard with service. Look for opportunities to help people, and be ready to help.

Christmas in Jamaica

Christmas in Jamaica as a full time missionary was a special time of year. Because it’s such a poor country, you seldom had many invitations for meals. But as Christmas approached, all of that changed. People came out of the woodwork to feed us. There were four of us in our district, and we all were invited together. Unfortunately, all of the invitations were on the same day – Christmas!

As the Big Day approached, it became apparent that Christmas would be busy and filling! We had appointments for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then some visits later in the night. We stressed to several of the families that we had meals scheduled and that we would only come over to visit. No problem, they said, just come for a visit.

The first couple of homes showed us the generosity of the people. Each had prepared massive feasts with all of the traditional Jamaican food items – some good (Chicken and Rice and Beans), some not so good (Oxtail soup)! But like good missionaries we ate and ate and ate.

By lunch, we realized the error of our planning. We simply could not stand to eat another thing. Each meal was like a Thanksgiving meal. We were all terribly bloated from the great bounty of food that had been in front of us, and the mere thought of more food made us cringe with fear.

I remember one of the last homes very distinctly – a poor single mother and her kids. We had told her that we would not be coming for dinner, only to visit. Yet when we arrived, lo and behold, her table was decked out with all manner of foods. Our hearts sank. Clearly this had represented a significant sacrifice for her. Yet we were simply stuffed. We told her that we had been eating all day, and couldn’t eat another thing. Unfortunately, she got very offended and told us it was because she was poor. Oh no! It couldn’t be further from the truth, but there was no convincing her. We had to eat one more time.

So the four of us saddled up to that table and took the least amount possible to offend her. Yet, our plates were still overflowing. But bite by bite we ate the impossible dinner.

My companion finished first – displaying his clean plate for our hostess to see. He looked like he was ready to pop. He taunted us that we were a long way from being done, and with a certain satisfaction excused himself from the table to use the bathroom. And that’s when we got sweet revenge! To his great surprise he returned to find his plate stacked higher than before, with the three of us smiling back at him. I smiled and thought to myself, “No my dear Elder, you are a long way from being done.”

That story stands out to me as one of my favorite Christmas memories ever. The people showed us the true meaning of Christmas, and we felt the warmth and love of the Christmas spirit although very far from home.

Do you know what kicking butt looks like, Round 2?

Mom had a good idea: teach the kids to ski! Who wouldn't think that's a good idea? We live in a freakin' winter wonderland. It's practically a requirement to live here.

Who wouldn't think it's a good idea? Her name is Maddie. That her with that beaming smile up top. That smile has not always been there. When first presented with the idea, she was...resistant. She wanted no part of that story.

But Mom could not be convinced otherwise. She got the kids new (used) skis and lessons at Snowbasin. Yet, Maddie did not love it. She even cried at the prospect.

Fast forward a few lessons (with friends) and you see that cute little smile up there. She is now a skier and even asked Melanie to take her tomorrow.

As it turns out, Maddie doesn't love to try new things. I believe this is a quality she may have inherited from me (and I from my Mom). But she tackles these new things head on ALL THE TIME. What's the result? She becomes the best she can be at any given subject, giving it 100% of her time and attention until she gets it right. And get it right she will.

Anyway, this is just another great example of my kiddos kicking butt! I love it and need to learn from these cuties.

What does kicking butt look like?

Abby finished her first trimester of school this week and this was the result:


Do you know what this is? Abby kicking butt! That's an average grade of 101.26%.

I'm blown away. My girls make parenting look so easy. Day in and day out my beauties tackle new challenges head on. They do hard things. And the results are showing.

I'm super proud of my little buddy!

Thoughts about Madsie, circa 2008

Tonight Buddy and Abby went to a Planning Meeting at Kaysville City, so I asked Madeline to give the prayer before bedtime. She said the cutest, longest prayer in a whisper and I couldn't make out all of what she said, but this is what I heard her say: Papa, Abby, Mama, Granpa Mark, Grandma, cousins, Violet, princess dress, swimming pool, and lots of other things. It was adorable. She was so sweet and serious about it. She said "Amen" and I said "Madeline, that was such a sweet prayer. Heavenly Father loved that prayer too." And then she said "Thank you Mama." 

Maddie is so cute in the morning. She loves to wake up slowly…first, we hear a little noise. Today, I heard a little voice singing. Walking in you usually see her lying down…with her blankie. She asks right away for “milky”, which we have on hand right away. Then she likes to lie there and talk to all of us from her bed. Abby will usually talk to her through the gates, which is so cute. Maddie’s hair is so funny and puffy in the morning…it’s kind of all over the place. Usually Maddie wakes up happy and cheerful. But sometimes you are in a bad mood too. But usually you’ll just sing sing sing. I love that.

The Little Red Elf

Twas the night before Christmas

And two little girls

Were tucked in their beds

Their hair full of curls.

As they dreamed Christmas dreams

Of presents and more.

A little Elf woke

And jumped to the floor.

With a laugh and a bounce

He was off in a flash.

To get the house ready

For a big Christmas bash.

To their bedrooms he ran,

Up the stairs, round the bend.

He had watched them all season,

And considered them friends.

He kissed both the girls

A dainty, soft kiss.

And whispered so softly,

“You shall soon have your wish.”

Next he bounced to the roof

To help Santa land.

Soon he saw lots of lights

And then the Big Man.

“Hello little Elf”

Santa said with a grin.

“Come help me with toys,

Come on, let’s begin.”

“For Abby a Doll,

so perfect and cute.

A carrier and clothes,

And her stocking to boot.”

“For Maddie who has been

So good, I do know.

Two dolls and a cup,

All wrapped with a bow.”

The Elf danced as they worked

Both smiled at the sight.

Santa tipped his red hat

And whispered “good night”.

Santa was off in a flash

Up the road, up the hill.

Leaving the little red Elf

So perfectly still.

Then he jumped in his bed

Closed his eyes and did sleep.

He was quiet and still

Not a pip or a peep.

There he’ll rest and get ready,

For next Christmas day.

When the little Elf comes

To watch and to play.