A warning

I wrote this as a fun poem to get my family excited for our trip to Las Vegas. 

So you are coming Vegas?

How fun, how swell, how neat!

Your hungry Klowny is ready,

For buffets of yummy, fresh meat!

Kathy is my dear; my most favorite!

Her love for me is quite enough!

She I will preserve as my fair lady,

By stuffing her corpse with some fluff.

John is quite a little runner,

With him never a quiet or a lull.

So cooking up his juicy leg meat,

Will surely make Klowny feel oh so full.

Mike is known as a deep thinker,

No meat on that skinny ‘lil frame.

So feasting on Mike must always begin,

By dining on his juicy full brain.

Jacob is not coming, oh dear!

Probably better for me that way.

He’s so strong and so muscular,

He’d crush me and ruin my day

Buddy, now there’s a ‘lil fatty.

Roasting nicely on a spit like some pork.

His belly will taste so good and yummy,

As I stick him with my big pitchy fork

Nate, what a great old big softie.

So kind, so loving, so sweet!

Makes cutting into his liver,

Able to produce delicious, red meat.

Mary, oh so kind and so gentle!

She’s known for having a big heart.

Which is why when I grill it for dinner,

For my feast it will be a great start.

Beth is so smart with her skin.

Lotions and creams, how they make it shine!

Which will make it so much nicer,

When I wear it as a coat over mine.

I think that’s it my old dearies,

Can’t wait for you all to arrive!

You’ll expect it to be a fun vacay,

But none will escape me alive.

I anxiously await your arrival,

Already sharpening my knife!

And setting the table for dinner

Ready to take eight Kennedy lives.

We can complain...

We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or rejoice that bushes have roses.

Going home

Recently I was thinking about Heavenly Father and Mother and an idea came to me which I had never had before.

We knew them in our previous life. We were spirits, they had physical bodies. In this state, it would have been hard or impossible to embrace in the way that we know today. It made me think how lovely and powerful it will be someday to embrace fully as resurrected beings.

As I thought about this it made me wonder: what would that first visit home be like? As I wondered this, I had an experience come to mind. Here’s what I saw.

We walk in. We’re beaten, bruised, and crushed from our mortal journey. Whatever journey we’ve had, we will be grown and different from when we last saw them. Although we’ll have felt comfortable on Earth, in this new state we will be disgusting to look at. We will be dirty. If sin creates scars, we will be truly horrific to look at.

In this condition we enter.

We’re not returning home in the way we thought we would when we left. We remember what we wanted to be, how we wanted this life to go, and with this full knowledge we will be ashamed of who we are.

In this state we see Them. They are glorious. Full of love. Perfect.

They welcome us home. They lovingly remove our shoes. Heavenly Mother takes us by the hand and brings us to a warm bath, warm towels. Here we are cleansed. Our sores are washed and cleaned, preparing us for resurrection. Tattoos and other defilements are removed. Our hair and nails are cleaned.

We have a nice meal. We talk. And we embrace. We apologize for failing. We explain what went wrong. They know. They forgive. They understand. Even with our failures, amidst our failings, we are loved. Supported. Listened to. Understood.

And with that, our journey is over.

That’s how I see it.

Golden Records

13 billion miles away from us in the freezing, deep, bleak reaches of interstellar space is a spacecraft called Voyager 1 (one of two Voyager spacecrafts). This probe is currently the farthest human-made object from Earth. It is in the region of space between stars where galactic plasma is present. You can track its distance here.

Interestingly, on both of the Voyager crafts is a very unique and interesting artifact of interest to many, including the LDS faithful. Attached to the hull is a 12-inch LP, “called the Golden Record”. It is fashioned from gold-plated copper and mounted to the side of each Voyager. 

Voyager 1 and 2 were both launched by NASA with a  (For most references, including direct quotes, see the Wikipedia article on Golden Record)

Voyagers’ launch dates took advantage of a rare planetary alignment. In 1977, the giant planets — Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune — lined up in such a way that a spacecraft could swing past all four in less than 15 years, stealing some gravitational oomph from each world as it went.

That lucky alignment happens only once every 176 years. When NASA’s administrator went to President Richard Nixon to ask for funding for Voyager, he allegedly said: “The last time the planets were lined up like that, President Jefferson was sitting at your desk. And he blew it.” Nixon approved the mission.

On the Golden record is a beautiful message from then President Jimmy Carter, which reads:

This is a present from a small, distant world, a token of our sounds, our science, our images, our music, our thoughts and our feelings. We are attempting to survive our time so we may live into yours.

It was developed as a sort of intergalactic message in a bottle. The hope is that some future alien civilization will find it and learn about Earth. Maybe they'll even use it to find us. And maybe, if we don't blow it, we'll be around to greet them. If not, this will act as a sort of voice in the dust. 

When I first heard about this Golden Record a few years ago I thought to myself - it sounds a lot like the Book of Mormon. Here are some of the ways the Golden Record and The Book of Mormon are similar - and different. 

First, their both Golden. Simple, but interesting. Both were put on the metal that they believed would be most able to withstand the weathering of time. As the Wikipedia article points out: 

The record is constructed of gold-plated copper and is 12 inches (30 cm) in diameter.^[3] The record's cover is aluminum and electroplated upon it is an ultra-pure sample of the isotope uranium-238. Uranium-238 has a half-life of 4.468 billion years. It is possible (e.g. via mass-spectrometry) that a civilization that encounters the record will be able to use the ratio of remaining uranium to the other elements to determine the age of the record.

Interestingly, both records were written and compiled for another time and another people. The writers of the Book of Mormon never benefitted from the book themselves, but were dedicated to its creation and survival. They wrote it as a voice speaking from the dust, but with a vision of us in the future who could turn to use it and adore it. The Golden Record is not for this world (although thanks to a recent Kickstarter campaign you can buy it soon).

Both records were created by the best and brightest of their day. The Voyager Golden Records were compiled by Carl Sagan, world-famous scientist and others. The Book of Mormon was written and compiled by the greatest prophets and leaders that lived during the time of its creation. 

If created today, it is likely Voyager would not use a record but some other advanced storage material. This would allow it to store more and do more. But the record was the best tech they had then, and is why they used it. Similarly the Book of Mormon was fashioned with the most advanced technology of its day. Many dispute that it would be impossible for these ancient civilizations to create metal work of the kind represented by the Book of Mormon. True, it would be difficult - perhaps this is why there's little archaeological evidence of metal work. But, it was lovingly created and would have been a technical marvel in its day.

Both records contain as much about their civilizations as was possible to include. The Golden record includes 115 images and a variety of natural sounds, such as those made by surf, wind, thunder and animals (including the songs of birds and whales). The compilers added musical selections from different cultures and eras, spoken greetings in 55 ancient and modern languages, other human sounds, like footsteps and laughter and printed messages from U.S. president Jimmy Carter and U.N. Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim. The record also includes the inspirational message Per aspera ad astra in Morse code, which roughly translates into: Through hardships to the stars

The collection of images includes many photographs and diagrams both in black and white, and color. The first images are of scientific interest, showing mathematical and physical quantities, the Solar System and its planets, DNA, and human anatomy and reproduction. Care was taken to include not only pictures of humanity, but also some of animals, insects, plants and landscapes. Images of humanity depict a broad range of cultures. These images show food, architecture, and humans in portraits as well as going about their day-to-day lives.

The Book of Mormon likewise contains a vast array of information about this ancient civilization - its people, their customs, their wars and conflicts, its currency, the travels of the people, the changing environment, and the spiritual condition of the people. 

Another similarity is that both records are in Heaven - one is billions of miles away, the other was taken back by Moroni. 

It is recorded that it took about a year for those responsible for putting together the Voyager Golden Record to compile its contents. This is with the full support of NASA and the U.S. Government. The Book of Mormon was translated in approximately 65 days. 

Included with the Voyager is a literal record to be played on a phonograph (which was included) by any aliens that might encounter the spacecraft. The package included a needle, a speaker and graphical instructions on how to play the record. Likewise, the Book of Mormon included the means of translation for the unlearned youth, Joseph Smith. 

Lastly, the Voyager Golden Record has a very specific purpose:

Carl Sagan said, "The spacecraft will be encountered and the record played only if there are advanced civilizations in interstellar space, but the launching of this bottle into the cosmic ocean says something very hopeful about life on this planet."

It is a kind of time capsule, intended to communicate to extraterrestrials a story of the world of humans on Earth.

The Book of Mormon has a very different purpose: that of "convincing the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting Himself to all nations."

Both are unique, interesting, and beautiful. But, only one can bring men and women to Christ. And that's what makes it my favorite Golden Record.

Building things that last for eternity

I taught a class on Sunday on the topic "Building things that last for eternity". It centered on Brigham Young's vision for the SLC Temple, but I didn't want to focus there too much because I was really captured by that idea of building for eternity.

Do we spend our time building things that last?

Our families, our marriages, our own lives. These are the things that last.

I told them about my Mom. Just as the early saints planted the right footings for the Temple, strong and immovable, so my Mom planted our foundation. She took us to Church in conditions that were sad. She told us we'd serve missions. She drove us to Seminary. She told us stories from the Scriptures. Was it more than that? If so I don't recall. But that was enough.

I concluded by holding up the program and asking: what does it take to send someone on a mission? How many hours? How many people? How much encouragement? How many invitations?

But these are the things that last forever, and they are hard won but important.

A new verse to 'Follow the Prophet'

Joseph was a prophet,
But first he was a boy.
He had a great question:
Which church should I join?

Joseph was sincere,
He sought a grove of trees.
He received his answer
Down upon his knees.

Maddie's Money

Here are some of the Facebook comments about Maddie's summer business: 

I would probably pay her MORE for something like this! She's AMAZING!

First of all, she needs to raise her prices or else I need to move closer to you guys. Secondly, like a true marketer she says the kitchen cleaning is complimentary and then charges for it.

She's undercharging for her services! I would pay a premium for someone who would fold my laundry!!!

We want all services but I think any package should be about 50$ 

Can I hire her for copy writing??

Good job Maddie!

Wow! This is amazing and her rates are so reasonable! I wish she was closer and I would sign up for all of the services! I'm definitely showing this to Campbell to see if she's willing to learn from your enterprising daughter!

I'd pay her just to write

"This complimentary package costs $2.50" -- truth in advertising!

 skip harvard business school. go straight to P &G senior management.

Fantastic!! Amazing prices too, she can come live with me!!

Umm I'd hire her

That shows she's the daughter of a world class marketer

If she's for real, I'll pay her $15 to make me 3 sandwiches mon, Tues and weds next week. Just 1 a dsy.

So awesome! Love her style! Thanks for sharing this!

Amazing!

She will corner the market!

Hi friend--been meaning to write to you and tell you that I was blown away by Maddie's Maddie Money sales pitch. C'mon--you helped her, right? It's SO good. Concise, engaging, clearly states the value prop, beautifully organized and consistent, utterly adorable and very competitively priced! Hugely impressed. She's a better copywriter than most of the people here with that title. Seriously, excellent work!

Flashback tonight

Tonight I had a bit of a flashback to trying to sleep during the summers of my youth. Our house had air conditioning in the living room only, and the upstairs where we all slept was always very hot in the summer. So hot that falling asleep was almost impossible some nights. I'd feel so hot and sticky just laying there in the heat. Making matters worse was the ever-present reality of mosquitoes who would sneak in through the completely non existent screens or the many holes in the screens. Just as you'd be falling asleep, the persistent 'zzzzzzzz' of the mosquitoes would jar me awake as I swatted them in the dark.

As I think about it, I feel so blessed today. Air conditioning cools my house. Fans blow gentle breezes on us as we sleep. There is nary a bug in the entire house.

But, on the other hand...it would be special to go back for a minute. To have my brother sleeping in the other side of the room. My Mom in the next door with my sisters. Brothers sleeping further down the hall or downstairs. The family together. Just for a night.

Reminiscing about the summers of my childhood

With summer upon us I wanted to reflect on the summers of my childhood. Sadly, most of the memories are gone like those ancient summer days, but a few things remain.

One thing that occurs to me is that Mom used to have us boys take on a massive summer long project, partially to do something constructive, mostly to keep us occupied on something other than Atari and TV. The two that stand out were a summer of scrapping the paint off the house, and another of weeding the world's largest garden of weeds.

The scrapping project somewhat made sense: the house was old and made of wood and the paint that was there needed to come off before a fresh coat could be applied. What didn't make sense was the way we went about it, which is that Mom bought a few hand-held scrapping tools by which we were to attack this project. No chemical thinner, no heater to warm the paint to make it easier to remove. Just metal on wood for an entire summer. It was straight out of the Karate Kid. Scrap off, scrap off. That wood held onto the paint like a tight-fisted miser, and removing it was nearly impossible. What was more possible was removing sheets and chunks of wood. And sadly - to the detriment of the entire house - that was what happened more than once. Scrap off, scrap off. So, the Kennedy boys spent the better part of that summer removing chunks of wood and paint from what was in reality the world's saddest house.

The second project that I remember Mom throwing us into was to weed the garden. First things first: I think the plot of land affectionately called a 'garden' was once a garden, I mean one year it was a garden. Every year after that it became less and less of a garden and more and more of a forest. A forest of weeds and trees. Weeds that grew as tall as a grown man, with trunks as thick as an arm. Prickly and wild, these weeds were not looking to give up their plot of land and they gave the Kennedys a real run for their money. For the summer that year we attacked those weeds with everything we had. I think we made some dents, but by the next summer those weeds had come back with a vengeance never to give up their place again. We learned two important lessons that summer. One, it's easier to tend the garden when the weeds are little and can be attacked with minimal effort. Two, none of us ever wanted to be a farmer.

Maddie calls her hands...

Paws. What more can I say?

God's Response to a Question

A few weeks ago I had a recruiter reach out with an interesting job - one that would've stretched me but that would've been good for my career. So I followed my own advice and agreed to talk to the recruiter. But preparing for the interview was a bit stressful, and I had a ton of anxiety around it.

As I prayed one night as the interview drew nearer I was asking God for help...and I kept asking and asking. As I did I kept having these insights come into my mind...one after another I heard ideas that I could use in the interview. I kept asking. Distinctly I felt a prompting say: I'm giving you answers, why aren't you writing them down? So I jumped up and went into my office to take notes. The ideas kept flowing, and I kept writing. As a result of this I felt way more prepared for this interview and started feeling prepared.

Interestingly, the next day the recruiter contacted me again and let me know they had made an offer to another candidate and that I wouldn't be interviewing for this role.

Some might wonder: why did God give me answers when the interview would be cancelled in a few hours. Why would he even say anything, knowing it would soon be cancelled?

I think God is there when we need him, even if we only think we need him.

In that moment I needed God. Even though I didn't actually need it, I needed Him then and there. So he was there. It's comforting to know that he will be with us if we pray sincerely for help.

My question to God

I've been thinking about asking God a simple question:

If I gave you my life, what would you do with it?

This is an important question. The answer is equally important. I think in everyone's life we need to consciously or unconsciously pose this question and take action on the answer.

My personal hesitation is that I'm fearful of the response, and equally fearful of my ability to do as he wants. So it fundamentally comes down to: Am I willing to act on it?

This much I know: God can do more with my life than I could ever dream of myself. I think of the quote by C.S. Lewis where he says:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

His vision for us is so much grander and fuller than we could ever imagine. But it takes a willingness to submit that will to him. To lay our lives on the alter and let him make of us what he will. Maybe this is the only question that really matters. 

I hope to have the courage to ask and act.

Grateful for groceries

Yesterday while shopping for the family I head over to our local Smiths. While wandering the store for items, a few thoughts and memories stirred me.

The first thought sent me back 3.5 decades to Michigan. I recall my Mom bringing us with her to Meijers for grocery shopping. I recall her parking in the back of Meijers where there were fewer people, then heading in to load the cart with food supplies to feed the eight of us. I remember a sense of dread and uneasiness as we'd approach the cashier. Mom would first unload the essentials, and begin asking the cashier to give us a total. As the total drew nearer to the amount of money she had, she would begin adding or taking things out so as not to go over the actual amount of money she had in her hand or bank account. It seemed a few times (or many, just a sense of "oftenness") that her check would be rejected and we'd have to pay a different way or or walk away. I'm grateful for a Mom who would endure a lifetime of humiliation for her family. Who would stare it straight in the eyes day after day. And today, I'm even more grateful that I can walk into any store, with a need for almost anything, and buy it if I need it. I'm almost embarrassed that my Mom had it so poorly, and I have it so nicely. I hope to never forget what my mom endured for us. I also hope to never forget where I came from, and where I've come - all thanks to a loving Heavenly Father who has taken my humble family and made us better.

The second thought was this: I'm so grateful to live in this country, at this time, with this level of peace and prosperity. While walking through that store I tried almost to see it as someone from another country might: full to the brim with the freshest foods, the greatest variety, the most quantity. Everything at my fingertips, and at a very good price. I felt guilty - I who have so much, and others, who have so little. It doesn't seem fair, and it makes me nervous to know what God expects of me versus those who have so little. But, in that moment all that I felt was a genuine sense of awe and gratitude. I hope that's a good start.

Another year, another class to teach

I'm excited to begin teaching a new group of Sunday School kids this year, including my very own Abby! I've been deeply blessed by the opportunity to teach great kids over the years and am finding that I both like it and seem to be good at it. In fact, this Christmas one of my coolest students ever, Johnny J., dropped off a present and a little note. In it he simply said, "To Tim, for being the best teacher the Mormons have ever seen." It made my day to know that my efforts were appreciated and that I was making a difference. When I look across the different things I could be doing in Church, I'm very glad that I am able to teach the youth and hope that continues for a very long time.

New Year

Happy 2017.

Happy to report I accomplished a few key goals this last year that I look forward to building on.

First, I got into pretty good shape. My max bench is 215, squat 250, dead lift 275. I'm running a 9 min mile and am stronger and healthier than I've been in a while. This was accomplished by working on 4-5x/week and generally eating healthier. This year I want to really understand how food affects me and work on generally eating cleaner, more consciously.

Second, I taught at the U as an adjunct professor. I built the course, marketing to businesses, from scratch and delivered a great class. At the end the students were so complimentary. Most came up and expressed their appreciation and sentiment that it was one of, if not the best class they had at the U. They encouraged me to continue to teach and share my experience, which I will gladly do in the future.

Third, I developed a bit more of a consulting practice and worked for 470, an ERP Technology Cloud company, and Priority Dispatch. Not major dough, but it's nice to have something additional coming in and building a bit of an additional practice.

We traveled pretty extensively, going to Orlando, Disneyland, Seattle, and Hawaii (twice, the Big Island and Maui).

Here's a little about the family. 

Maddie had a great year. She is a leader in school - she was selected to visit the Mayor of Kaysville as one of a few students in all of 5th grade. She had two great seasons of soccer where she played hard defense and scored some great goals. She was chosen to be a special needs helper at school on account of her kindness and leadership. She and I had a great trip together to Disneyland for the annual Halloween party - she was the cutest Belle there, and I was the her tag-along beast. She helped find $200 this year - once on the streets in Anaheim where she saw and pointed out a $100 bill, the second time with Gigi on the streets of Layton as a gift card. She's played basketball and is a great developing athlete. She is the nanny to three cute babies (Fayth, Millie, and Evelyn) who she cares for every day. Most of her Christmas present this year was baby supplies to help with these little cuties. She's a better nanny to them than most people would be to actual kids. She is a bright light in our life and helps us stay young and fresh and funny.

Favorite song: Feed the birds frosted flakes (Makena Beach early morning snorkeling)
Favorite book:
Best job: Teacher
Best friend: Alexis
Favorite movie: Moana
Funniest moment: Jordyn the turtle (Maddie made a sand turtle in Maui and within 20 mins her head was smashed. Since, Maddie has been paying tribute to her legacy)
Favorite moment: Playing ping pong and getting smoked by Maddie's crazy serve
Worst moment: Overall, great year.
What I learned: Social media, the fun of Instagram, Animal Jam (AJ), Family House
Favorite apps: Family House, AJ, Instagram, FaceTime
Favorite subject in school: Math
Friend group at school: Kerri, Brinlee, Kaydance, Chloe, Presley, Bryker, Ashley, Mae

Abby had an impressive year. One of her best moments was going to Montreal with Mom...it rained the whole time, but they loved the shopping and spending time in old graveyards. She's excelled in school - she's got a rocking 4.0 and is especially good in French and Math. One of the things that Abby is really good about is getting ahead of things. For instance, she did a leaf project in school and got ahead of it and killed it. Abby liked golf and tennis lessons this year. She was student of the month in October. What really stands out to me though is the social excitement...friends, boys, etc. Abby is really coming into her own and finally in Utah has a fun group of kids who are sweet, cute, loyal, and fun. She met a special boy named Noah who is a fun, kind, thoughtful boy. She's not quite ready to call him a boyfriend, but they definitely like each other...alot.

Favorite song: Cheap Thrills
Favorite book: Great Expectations
Best friend: Lexa
Favorite movie: Moana
Favorite moment: For me, teaching her to drive and playing modern warfare
Favorite apps: Texting, Facetime, Instagram
Worst moment: Spraining her knee skiing at Snow Basin
What I learned: Snowing
Teen moment: Girl Scout Camp
Abby's friend group at school is: Makayla, Michael, Addy, Zach, Noah, etc.

Mom had a good year, for the most part. She continues to work at MarketStar, but doesn't take it too seriously thankfully. The last part of the year Mom's been prepping for the bar and that's been nothing  but painful for her. The good news is she killed the professional responsibility part of the Bar and is prepping hard for the real deal in Feb. Mom has been running primary as the secretary and does a good job generally providing not just management, but also guidance of how to best support the primary kids. Mom spends a lot of time keeping the house running, i.e. doing carpool, driving the girls to sewing and piano, cooking, and generally doing an amazing job of keeping us well fed and happy. She continues to love to walk, and took up jogging later in the year.

Favorite song: She won't commit
Best friend: She won't commit
Favorite movie: Moana
Favorite moment: She won't commit
Favorite apps: She won't commit
Worst moment: She won't commit
What I learned: She won't commit

A simple thought on the Atonement

A simple thought popped into my head the other day:

The Resurrection heals our body

The Atonement heals our soul

The resurrection seems in some ways to be easier (for a God). Bodies can be healed and fixed, restored to their original frame. The original blueprint is in the code, so it's really about bringing it all together as it should've been.

The Atonement is far more complicated (in my mind). It is not a reassembling of a body, but the complicated process of helping us overcome the gravity of sin, untangled bundle of knots that comprise our positive and negative life experience, the forgiveness and repentance, the submission of wills and personality to Christ.

A new adventure

Three weeks ago I began a new type of adventure: one that I've talked about for a while that is becoming a reality - teaching college! I'm an adjunct professor at the Spencer Eccles School of Business at the University of Utah teaching a course on B2B marketing.

It started with me reaching out to the Dean (who I know from my MBA) and inquiring about opportunities. Quickly he turned me on to the Marketing Chair and we met earlier this year. He was impressed by my career and experience and thought I would be a great fit. That started the process by which I was asked to teach this class.

Never having created my own coursework, my efforts quickly focused on building a syllabus and set of course work to guide the class. It took me many hours to lock on the right syllabus and plan, but I have it all settled (for the most part) and have now taught about three classes. It has been tough, especially up front, but I've been most thankful for the efforts of friends and colleagues who have come in and helped take some of the teaching responsibility off my shoulders. All in all, the students seem to enjoy the class and the feedback thus far has been largely positive.

Mostly though I'm proud that I did it. It's easy to not follow your dreams and there are many reasons why it doesn't make sense. Yet, I committed to it and am doing it and can now say that I'm a college professor! Kinda fun.

Midnight thoughts

Tonight as I read this great talk I was impressed by a key concept of having the faith to "not be healed" is as important as having the faith to be healed. The scriptures are replete with instances where Christ performed a miracle by the power of the priesthood. For him, it was easy and second nature. He was so close to this power, so perfect, has such understanding that it would not be hard.

Yet, there must have been instances where he did not heal. Where he did not raise the dead. When he knew that he must let nature take its course. Just like today, sometimes the miracle comes and sometimes it is not part of the plan.

How difficult it must've been for him to not do something in that moment. With infinite power at his disposal, not doing something must've been difficult. After all, each instance of healing lifted people's faith. To choose to not heal must've had a negative effect on those around him. It's an idea to continue to swirl on.

Tonight I find myself restless. Work is stressful with the recent layoffs and uncertainty. School begins and I'm worried to teach my first class. I am struggling with my commitment to stay fit and healthy as the stresses mount. Every plate that I have spinning seems to be wobbly and ready to fall. 

Yet, I need to have faith. I also need to give myself a break. I can't be expected to be the best teacher year one - that would be completely impossible. I've never done it before, and there will be much to learn. This is as much about me imparting my knowledge and advice, as it is about me learning if it's something I'd want to do more regularly. Even with my health choices - I'm still a newbie here. Of course there will be challenges and difficulties - I knew this day would come. How I attack it is the only thing that matters.

It reminds me of a great article that I recently read by Steven Lund, President of Nuskin, in a BYU Law magazine. In it he talks about how he has faced a number of real challenges - personally and professionally. In these challenges, he noted how he began to invite God into these challenges. 

He asked God to "Soldier with me". "Practice law with me." "Negotiate with me."

What a powerful concept. I know that God wants to be active in our lives. Yet, he always wants to be invited. His mighty arm is outstretched - only I choose whether to reach myself.

And reach myself is what I need to do. I need to turn over my work stresses to Him. My teaching stresses. My family stresses. He will not take them away, but in them he will strengthen me. I believe it's true and want to test in my life now. 

Midnight thoughts

Tonight as I read this great talk I was impressed by a key concept of having the faith to "not be healed" is as important as having the faith to be healed. The scriptures are replete with instances where Christ performed a miracle by the power of the priesthood. For him, it was easy and second nature. He was so close to this power, so perfect, has such understanding that it would not be hard.

Yet, there must have been instances where he did not heal. Where he did not raise the dead. When he knew that he must let nature take its course. Just like today, sometimes the miracle comes and sometimes it is not part of the plan.

How difficult it must've been for him to not do something in that moment. With infinite power at his disposal, not doing something must've been difficult. After all, each instance of healing lifted people's faith. To choose to not heal must've had a negative effect on those around him. It's an idea to continue to swirl on.

Tonight I find myself restless. Work is stressful with the recent layoffs and uncertainty. School begins and I'm worried to teach my first class. I am struggling with my commitment to stay fit and healthy as the stresses mount. Every plate that I have spinning seems to be wobbly and ready to fall. 

Yet, I need to have faith. I also need to give myself a break. I can't be expected to be the best teacher year one - that would be completely impossible. I've never done it before, and there will be much to learn. This is as much about me imparting my knowledge and advice, as it is about me learning if it's something I'd want to do more regularly. Even with my health choices - I'm still a newbie here. Of course there will be challenges and difficulties - I knew this day would come. How I attack it is the only thing that matters.

It reminds me of a great article that I recently read by Steven Lund, President of Nuskin, in a BYU Law magazine. In it he talks about how he has faced a number of real challenges - personally and professionally. In these challenges, he noted how he began to invite God into these challenges. 

He asked God to "Soldier with me". "Practice law with me." "Negotiate with me."

What a powerful concept. I know that God wants to be active in our lives. Yet, he always wants to be invited. His mighty arm is outstretched - only I choose whether to reach myself.

And reach myself is what I need to do. I need to turn over my work stresses to Him. My teaching stresses. My family stresses. He will not take them away, but in them he will strengthen me. I believe it's true and want to test in my life now. 

What I like...

About being thinner.

I've been really focused this year on losing weight, trying to go about it in the right way by working out in the morning and watching and tracking what I eat. It's been a successful venture thus far - I'm down almost 40 lbs and have gained some muscles.

Maria suggested I log what I like about being thinner. Here are some things:

1) Energy levels are consistently high. At times, almost euphoric. My energy keeps me engaged and active throughout the day, which really is helping me at work.
2) Mental functions are improving. It's shocking to see the impact of sugar - equally interesting to see the impact of not eating sugar. My mental focus is crisper and I find myself more engaged. This is partly why I think I'm "killing it at work".
3) Thinner looks better. I like how I look much better, and am starting to take better care of myself, up level how I dress, and trying to just overall look nicer.
4) It's a fun project. It gives me something to watch and play with, gives me something to talk about, and something to focus on.
5) Able to do more. Today I ran most of 2 miles. That's kinda exciting, you know. Previously I wouldn't have been able to - let alone think I should - run two miles in the morning. Is it a lot? No. Is it a lot for me, yes.
6) Purpose of food is changing. I see food as much as fuel as fun. Don't get me wrong - I love junk food still, always will. But my mental state around food, especially the concept of treating treats as treats, not as a staple of every meal, it a powerful mental bridge to cross.
7) Increased confidence. My personal confidence is through the roof. I walk with a spring, have a better sense of myself, feel qualified to take on new challenges. Sounds too much, I know. It's as much about how I look, how I feel as anything else. I walk into the gym, and even if I'm not the healthiest person there, I am still going.
8) Starting the day off right. It's rewarding and fulfilling to start the day off on such a positive step. It sets the tone of the day for being productive and fulfilling. One of the major things I would think about throughout the day is done, and I'm ready to execute.
9) People see the difference. People are noticing, and it's fun to be noticed for making a positive difference.

It's an ongoing journey and one that I look forward to tackling over and over again. I am much happier with where I am physically and am proud of the work.