Highlights from Maddie's prayer tonight

Thank you for Mom and Dad and Abby's shirt.

Thank you for the tables.

Thank you for flowers and trees that grow.

Thank you for Minnie Mouse.

Bless me and Abby when we get married.

Thank you that Abby and me can go to Neverland.

Bless the dogs that grow and turn into people.

My tribute to Melanie...

I have not done justice praising Melanie on this blog. Melanie has been my truest confidant, supporter, and advocate since we met and is the most amazing woman and wife in the world. Recently we celebrated our lucky 13th wedding anniversary. In honor of this occasion, I want to spend a few minutes honoring my good, sweet wife.

I guess the first way I think about her is how I'm different and better because of our life together. She has always believed in me, has helped me through the hard times, and been there to celebrate the good times. We've built our lives together, step by step. I know that I'm a better person because of her. Her encouragement and counsel have helped me to become a better husband, father, and person. Having her in my life is a blessing - and a miracle.

When we first met, she was a graduating Michigan Wolverine - one of the smartest, most talented students at one of the best academic institutions in the world. She could have gone to any school she was just that talented. She had planned for years on getting into a great college and had lots of choices. But fortunately for me she felt like Michigan was the place for her so she went there. For four years she studied, worked, dated, and did normal college stuff. And then we met...

The contrast between where Mel was and where I was is laughable. When we met I was a humble waiter by night, sophomore college student by day (at lowly Washtenaw Community College no less). I was driving a piece of crud Toyota Tercel, had a scant savings, but lots of hope and potential. What she saw in me I will never know. Her parents must have really wondered what she was thinking when she told them who she was dating. Her ex-boyfriend asked how she could date someone from "Ypsi-tucky". But we both believe in magic, and have felt it throughout our lives together.

Dating Melanie was like seeing light through the darkness. It was like living hope. It was all laughter, fun, teasing, flirting, kissing...there was none of the bad stuff, and all of the good stuff. We could spend days and days together doing nothing - doing homework, talking, walking, holding hands. It was magical. I remember early on before we told anyone we were dating we would run around the Institute holding hands in private so that no one would know we were dating. There's nothing like holding hands when you're young and in love. The newness of the touch. The thrill of new love.

We did a lot of talking too in those early days (still do). I'm not a huge talker, but I could sit with her for hours and hours and talk with her. It was so easy...it just flowed. And while we talked I would look into her eyes and see forever, in those beautiful green and hazel eyes. That Spring in Ann Arbor was bursting with life, hope, and of course, love. Three months after we started dating we were engaged.

One day after we were engaged I went down to have lunch with her in this super formal dining room in her dorm. There were all of these super elite women, but so we sat with them and ate like normal. When we told them we were recently engaged, they must have thought we were nuts. 23 and 22...so young to be getting married, but for us it was true love and so we made preparations for our wedding.

I have to say that those six months - the time from when we met to when we got married was absolutely magical in every. We both felt it, and still think and talk about it. All of these years later we both know that our marriage was meant to be, that it was something special, and that if we did things the right way we could have those feelings forever.

The fun thing is that the magic still exists. We might not have those exact same feelings, but we have new ones. The newness is gone, but each season brings a new experience that we can share together. We absolutely love being parents together. We are absolutely in synch in so many things. We are able to sit together, as equals, to plan and think about the future. Sometimes we have the most spiritual conversations, and other times we simply laugh our heads off. Today it's not new, but it's still magical and special all the same.

Anyway, I wanted to simply say that I love you Mel, and am so blessed to have you in my life.

Comic Con 2009...Wow

Comic Con is my favorite time of the year, and this year rocked. I've been so geeked out about it for the last couple of months and it didn't disappoint. Ok, maybe it wasn't as perfect as last year, but I had twice as much time to enjoy it and that made up for it in a huge way.


I geek out over the movie premieres and think if you like big, fun movies than there is no place to be other than Comic Con. Unfortunately, due to the "Twilight issue" we were unable to see any really great screenings like Avatar, Tron 2, New Moon, Alice in Wonderland, etc. We missed all of the really great stuff on day 1 but we did catch a cool panel with Sigorney Weaver, Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse), and Zoe Saldana (Star Trek). That was the highlight for day 1.

Day 2 offered much better fare. I saw the following:

• The Book of Eli: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman
• Nightmare on Elm Street: the dude who is going to play freddy.
• Where the Wild Things Are: saw the little dude who's the main character in the show, and got my picture taken with him.
• The Box: Cameron Diaz,
• Jonah Hex: Megan Fox, Josh Brolin
• Sherlock Holmes: Robert Downey, Rachel McAdams
• Pixar, Disney Animation Studios: lot's of great previews and updates, including 3D versions of Toy Story 1, 2, and Beauty and the Beast. Heard from John Lassater and Hayao Mizayaki.

The toys, prints, artists...all of it was really amazing this year.

My week in New Orleans...

So I've been in New Orleans all week. This place is an absolute den of iniquity...I've never really seen anyplace like it. The style and architecture of the place is really pretty, but at the root it's really about drinking, partying, and totall sleezy stuff (I will spare the details, but it's been totally over the top in the worst way - worst than Vegas to me).

Anyway, these events always mean the following has happened a lot: I go to parties to network and socialize because that's what we do in business. And of course, since I don't drink, I always look a little out of place. Happened again tonight when we went to a really interesting, yummy local place for dinner and of course everyone was ordering shots, beers, etc and asking me what I wanted. Then, I went to a "casino night" where booze was flowing like the River Jordan (they even had booze flavored Icee's). When I mentioned at the bar that I wanted a Diet Coke, the two guys I was with said in unison "what, are you LDS?" To which I always say "absolutely I am". I think people are always a little surprised but respectful. And I am always proud for who and what I am.

It's also nice to be in places like this because it reinforces my beliefs and commitments. I mean, if I wanted to I could go and do anything and no one would ever know. My friends even asked if I wanted to go to a strip club the other night. But it's so easy to say no and I'm glad that I have no desire whatsoever in these things. And when I'm surrounded by people whose idea of the perfect party is an open bar, I'm happy that the only place I want to be is at home with my beautiful girls doing nothing at all. Right now I think my head is in a good place - not perfect, but I have some parts of the puzzle in line.

The one thing I really hate about travelling is of course being away from the girls. I'm busy, and their life goes on whether I'm there or not. So we end up having brief little chats on the phone - but nothing meaningful. It's always a little "how's your day", "whatcha doing", etc. It's not like being home, which I really hate.

It made me think a little bit about prayer. I think a lot of times my prayers are light conversations...not the really good, deep, meaningful relationships type stuff that Heavenly Father wants. It made me think that he probably really wants these chats to be more personal, and that's something I need to work on.

Witch, Witch, Wizard

On Friday night when I came home from work there was an invitation from Abby to join her in her room at 6:30 that night for a Wizard party. It said to come dressed up.

When we entered, she had planned a really elaborate party agenda. Some of the highlights:

• Witch, Witch, Wizard - the Wizard version of Duck, Duck, Goose. Maddie and Abby could have played all night...Mel and I were good for a couple of rounds before we go very dizzy and tired from running in very small circles.
• Pin the bristles on the broom - Abby had drawn a very cute witch on a stick, and had cut out the bristles and we had to do our best to pin them on the broom. Whoever was closet won (Maddie, good job).
• Treasure hunt - Abby had drawn and hid different things from the world of wizards and hid them throughout her room for us to find.

It was the best party that I can remember, and I loved that she took the initiative and had the creativity to pull it off. I was really, really proud of her and thought in general how very lucky I am to have such amazing girls. I'm the luckiest Dad in the world.

Confession time...

I have the worst guilty pleasures...they really make poor Melanie's eyes roll. Two guilty pleasures that have this effect that I've re-discovered lately are Saturday's Warriors and My Turn on Earth. I've recently downloaded them on my iPod, and have been introducing the girls to these favorite stories and am so glad that they too are catching the bug.

I know why I love these two musicals. I remember seeing My Turn on Earth when I was a little kid, gosh I have no idea how young I was. There was a touring company or something that made its way to Michigan for some reason and my parents decided to take us. And I just really loved the music and the story for some reason, it just really appealed to me. Even today when I hear the music I just really enjoy it. And there's some great Gospel messages in there - if you can bear to sit through some of the cheese. Let me simply say I get really happy to hear the girls singing "My Turn on Earth".

In fact, as we were driving to Utah last week I put on My Turn on Earth and as I was listening I think I relearned something that I think is a real truth that I knew, but hadn't thought about for a while. In the song where Jesus and Satan are presenting their plans, and Satan is saying how he wants people to follow him, I think it really jumped out to me that God wants to create little gods, not little followers. If he simply wanted a bunch of mindless children he would have picked Satan's plan because on its face value it makes some sense and is the safe approach. But I think Satan had it wrong - God was willing to put us all through this mortal existence and the tremendous risk associated with it if it meant that we would receive the opportunity to be like God himself. It also made me wonder what kind of glory and power come with being like God that made him willing to risk so much.

I think Saturday's Warrior is a Kennedy favorite across the board. Again, I think I must've seen it when I was little because we all knew the story and music when one of us spied the VHS video on the Huron Valley Ward library shelf. So we took it home and watched it so much...and I don't think we ever returned that video. We would watch it, and sing it, and simply enjoy it. Again, the show is really cheesy and has a low production value to it. But when I think about the messages - the importance of an eternal family, the challenges and temptations of mortality, the great joy when those who are lost are found - it's a beautiful telling of the Plan of Salvation.

So there you have it...I've confessed that I just really love these shows. : > )

Tribute to my dad

Father's Day was Sunday, and I wanted to write a little bit about my Dad.

I think when I was younger, like most kids, I didn't really understand my Dad. I think kids look at their parents as heroes and as being bigger than life. This also means that we tend to view them in an unfair light I think, and I think I might have done that. Like most kids, I thought he should be perfect; I looked up to him so much. And unfortunately when he made mistakes I think it was disappointing and I felt like maybe I lost out on having that really amazing Dad that you see on TV.

But my view of my Dad has changed a lot of the last several years. I think it's because I'm more mature now, and because I am now a Dad myself. I think I've become far more understanding to the condition of my own Dad and this has allowed me to appreciate him all the more. And as I've been able to look at him differently, with a different lens, I think it makes my Dad seem far more human. I also have come to really appreciate him and what he gave to me.

One thing I really respect about Dad is that he is a man of many, many talents. If he wants to learn or do something, he does it. He is fiercely determined and when he sets his mind to something he just does it and he does it well. He has a belief in his own ability and self, and has made him the man he is on his own with little help from others. He's so independent! I really respect that.

My Dad is the reason we have the Gospel in our life. When he heard of the Restored Gospel, he seized on it and became a rock in the Church. Mom used to tell us how passionate and enthusiastic he was about it, and I give him a lot of the credit for taking that first step and being a pioneer for our family in the Gospel.

He also taught me and my siblings the love of family. Look, he has had 10 kids...the man loves kids. He might not be the most involved Dad, but when you aggregate the sum of years that he has devoted to his children you can see that he is a very committed, loving, dedicated Father. I really respect that, and attribute that own dedication to my own affinity for my children.

I remember many things about my Dad, but there are a couple of things that really stand out to me for some reason. One is that when he worked in downtown Ann Arbor he worked kind of close to a toy store. For a time period I would call this toy store to ask them if they had a GI Joe figure...they'd go a search and if they had one I asked the to hold it for me. Then I would call my Dad and ask him to pick it up for me. And he did, and that really meant a lot to me. He would also make the coolest grappling hooks for my GI Joe guys out of paperclips, and also carved little guns for me out of popsicle sticks. I wish I had those today, just to look at them.

Being a Dad is about sacrifices. In the movie Peter Pan Wendy and John are talking to their mother about their father. They are complaining that he isn't brave - almost like their embarrassed of him. The Mother wisely says that while their father might not have fought in wars or battles, he is nonetheless brave. She says that he has put aside his dreams and his desires for his family, and that some nights he takes them out and looks at them, but he always puts them back for his family. It's said much better in the movie, but I think it's very true and is a sentiment that I share about my Dad.

So on this Father's Day I'm choosing to forget the weaknesses or mistakes of my Dad. I'm so glad he's alive, well, and that I can talk to him every couple of weeks. I love my Dad very much, and am so grateful to have him, and for the part of me that came from him.

Do you think fear is a genetic attribute?

I'm starting to think it is...I've been fearful of all sorts of things my whole life, just like my mom. And it turns out that Maddie, who kind of is a lot like me, has lot's of similar fears. Just made me wonder...what do you think?

Superpowers

I've always wanted a super power...when I was a kid I used to flick my wrists like Wolverine in the hopes that I would someday have adamantium claws of my own. I would pretend I had Spidey's webslingers. I can still imagine what it would feel like to fly like Superman. Even to this day when I walk through an automatic door I pretend I'm a Jedi opening the door with the Force. (what can I say, I'm an big kid in many many ways).

Lately though I've been thinking about what Superpowers I actually might have. Some people call them talents. Others strengths. But when I think of what my superpowers are I'm truly grateful for them.

It's taken me a while to be able to recognize my strengths. Being a Kennedy, I'm naturally kind of self-deprecating. As a family we don't like to recognize our strengths. On the other hand, we celebrate when others recognize us and I think deep down we know that there's something special there. But it's still hard to come out and admit that we have some goodness going on there.

I think the Gospel has something to do with it - we're taught to not to be prideful. Also, our humble upbringing combined with our genetic makeup make us resistant to boasting. At least that's what I think.

But I've been thinking about what my superpowers are, I think they are the following:

1. I think people like me quite easily - almost instantaneously. I don't mean that I'm so cool or anything. But I think I must put people at ease or something.

2. People trust me - I think I'm unassuming and approachable, making it easy for people to open up to me. And I'm genuinely interested in people, their lives, and their stories so that I think that comes across in a positive way.

3. I'm smart (enough). It's a good combination of social skills and the right kind of smarts. Still not book smart, and not great at exam situations (couldn't be further from reality). But in day to day life and the right kind of work I think I'm smart.

4. I work hard. Because I have done it all (dishwasher, bus boy, server, retail nerd) since I was a kid I know how to work. I think a lot of people I work with think that certain things are above them. Because I've worked my way up the chain, I'm willing to do what it takes.

5. Friendly. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, but if I need to be I can be get along with anyone, anytime. I've had some doozy of co-workers and managers and I always get along with all of them.

6. Patient. Few things really ruffle my feathers. Because I had some really horrible experiences as a kid trying to learn things, I think I'm more understanding of others and willing to work with them.

7. Forgiving/empathetic. I can easily put myself in others shoes...I think this helps me be more forgiving and empathetic of others as they travel through life.

8. Funny. It's a certain kind of funny, but I think I do it pretty well.

Anywho, tell me if you agree/disagree. But I've been trying to figure out what I'm good at and I think these are pretty representative. I'm grateful for these superpowers. I sometimes wish I were smart like so and so, or handsome, or had a ton of musical talents or something. But when I think about those that I have I can't help but be grateful for them.

M&Ms

Nothing deep here...but I've been thinking a little lately about my favorite candy, Peanut M&Ms. After a lifetime of eating them, I've learned a few things.

1. Peanut or plain? Always Peanut. Something perfectly satifsying about biting down on the hard coating, hitting that little peanut inside, and the sweet and satisfying combination of flavors.

2. Serving size? One is too few...simply not satisfying. Three, kind of a mouthful. It turns out that two peanut M&Ms are the perfect mouthful.

3. Peanut M&Ms must be served at room tempature. Cold or chilled ruins it.

4. Regardless of what my friend Amy says, M&Ms all taste the same. There is no difference between the colors. I am color blind when it comes to Peanut M&Ms.

5. Where to buy them? The ones from a single serving container (such as you might pick up at a gas station) are good, but the best M&Ms are from a pounder bag (such as the kind that I get on my birthday or in my stocking at Christmas). Must be something in the packaging that makes them taste fresher and better. And avoid Peanut M&Ms that are sold bulk. They end up tasting like the Cinammon Bears in the bin next door.

Thanks for indulging me...send Peanut M&Ms if you want to thank me. And let me know if you agree or not.

Plus Size Love

In Feb 2007 while I worked at McCann they held a Love Song Writing contest to celebrate Valentine's Day. Having written some funny stuff in the past, I thought I would give it a whirl. My inspiration for this song, "Plus Size Love" was from an email that an odd co-worker sent out to the entire company. In it, she asked for a "Plus Size Model" to help model the wedding dress that she was making for her friend who lived in San Fran. She needed to make some tweaks to the dress, and needed someone to help her with the work. To help see if you might be the right size to qualify, she included in the attachment a picture of her friend, taken while at Comic Con.

It seemed like a true love story to me, so I composed a brief song that summed up the feelings of this Plus Size friend, on the eve of her wedding.

Here are the lyrics. Above is the video or here.

Plus-size love

Wookies and storm troopers – trekkers galore
But no love could be found on the Comic-con floor.
‘Til I saw your Spock ears – my heart skipped a beat
And I dropped the swag bag down at my feet.

You were there – in line for Bill Shat.
Looking so fine in your Revenge o’ Sith Hat.
When our eyes met, my heart it beat faster.
Like I was training with Yoda, Jedi master.

So here I am, in my dress that was sewn.
By a friend with a plus-sized model and flown.
For me to wear in our wedding o’ love.
With friends, family, and Picard up above.

And now, as one, we start out our life.
You as the husband, me as the wife.
I can’t help but think, oh how we’ve grown.
As we eat this fried chicken down to the bone.

Chorus

My plus-size love for you will not end.
Like Han and his Leia, lovers and friends.
My world goes warp speed when you touch my soft skin.
Together, as one, through thick and the thin.

I'm a geek...

I'm a geek for toys, that is.

I love toys. I mean I really love toys. Always have, always will. Kind of silly for an old dude to care about toys, but I like them plain and simple.

For the last couple of years I've been collecting different figures and toys that appeal to me. Right now that means figures, Robots, and cool collectibles. I buy them, look at them, and put them in boxes. Melanie thinks I'm nuts, and she's probably right. But when I talk with other people about what they collect, it turns out I'm not so nuts. My Dad collects Hot Wheels and Trucks. My friend collects Toasters. I simply like toys.

I still roam the aisles of Target, Wal-Mart, and Toys R Us in search of cool figures. And boy, there are some cool figures out there right now people. And with a little more disposable income I simply can't help myself. Recently I purchased these figures below. I loved these for one main reason: the size and the flexibility! A lot of figures are too rigid, have too many accessories, and just don't seem to be made for playing. So when I saw these I fell in love immediately. I would have played with these figures till they broke when I was a kid. So I picked them up, explained to Mel that's I'm a little nuts, and bought Spidey, Captain America, and Iron Man. I'm going back for more later this week cause I really like them.

Here they are...Nate, you should check them out.

I also love Robots...they're hard to find, but when I come across a unique looking classic robot I can't help but buy it if I can afford it. I also really love Japanese style figures and robots, but they're harder to find locally which is one of the reasons I love Comic-con. Lot's of geek out there.

I also really bought these little guys wooden figures below. I missed the first release of these wooden figures and just really like the whimsical feel and style of these characters. Someday they'll be in my nerd-space (if I ever have a nerd-space) sitting on a shelf. I don't care if anyone else in the world likes them...I love them and am glad I bought a couple - they're pricey but cool.

Someday I'd like to score this next robot...I love this! It's pricey though...more like art than a toy. I think when I finally get enough $$ to afford this guy it'll be front and center in my collection.

One last geeked out toy I bought that I really really loved. These are Mad Scientist Blocks. They are wooden, laser engraved, and the perfect play toy for aspiring mad scientists. I won't disclose the price, but I will say they're worth every penny.

Here comes the moon...

Abby wrote this song tonight.

Peano

here comes the moon
shining in the night
here comes the moon
shining in the dark
here comes the moon shining
i love to see the moon shining
every night i am so happy
to see the moon.

end

She has a little piano tune to go with it...I need to record it and share it. It's very cute.

Two more things:

Abby asked what Memorial Day is, and I said "it's when we remember our loved ones who have died". She said "when we have someone we love die, let's write them a note and tie it to a balloon and send it up to heaven.

Today at Maddie's school they learned about dairy. They tasted whipped cream, ice cream, milk, and all the kids were asked what their favorite dairy product was. All the other kids said Ice Cream. Maddie said "milk".

She sure loves her milky!

My little girls...

I'm so lucky to have little girls. I know boys are fun, and I'd love a boy to play with, to take to Priesthood session, to take home teaching, and to add a new flavor to the house...but really, I'm so happy with my girls. I'm a lucky lucky Dad.

I wanted to share a couple of things, just from today...

Maddie

I've never seen a kid so programmed for creativity or pretending like Maddie. She pretends ALL DAY. She has lately been telling us about her brothers and sisters, people who don't exist except in her little head. She is always one princess or another, and I'm always her prince (or monster, or whatever). She's Ariel, Aurora, Belle, Anastacia (her own creation). She does it up in a big way; there's always a new dress, a new dilemma, a new villian. She always relegates Abby to a secondary role (if she's playing Bolt, Maddie is Penny, I'm Bolt, and poor Abby is the Cat). And she always is telling us how it should go, what we should say, who's who...she's kind of a little director/producer/control hound...but it's cute and funny and it's all her.

Tonight when I got home she made up and sang this little song over and over and over. There probably weren't more than 10 words in the whole thing, but she kept singing and singing and singing. And when she was finished, she would run behind the couch and come out as another contestant and do it again. And this isn't simply singing...it's the emotion and drama in her face that makes it so dang funny and sweet.

Abby

Abby is the very most thoughtful kid I've ever met. Last week on her own she wrote a little note to Mrs. Burns and her little class in Kaysville to say hi and to let them know she liked her house. Tonight, for Mother's Day she gave Melanie 3 things....1) a little story book, 2) a note that said Happy Mother's Day, and 3) a recipe. Here's what the Recipe looked like (word for word):

Cookies By Abby

Ingrains
Milk
Sugar (she had this spelled differently this morning but she figured out how to do spell check and corrected it)
Flower
Cholet chips
Butter

Drenches (I believe this is directions)
1. First get out all the ingredients
2. Then put all the ingrains into a blender
3. Then put the cookie dough on a cookie sheet
4. Put it in the oven for 15 minutes

5. When it beeps take it out

6. Then you eat it.

There are adults who couldn't do this. And it's sweet to think that that's how she shows her love for her Mom.

Basically, I love being a Dad to girls. Last Saturday we were all sitting in the bathroom and I was painting Maddie's toes and Abby was painting her own (and doing a great job of it) and I just was so happy to have my little angels.

Favorite things...

Favorite products:
Burt's Bees Lip Balm.
Mango Haagen Daaz.
Ipod and ITunes (sorry MS).
Memory foam.
Comfortable PJ shorts.
Converse Chuck Taylors.
Ear plugs (for use to sleep and on the airplane).
DishNetwork.
DVR.
Diet Coke.

Favorite sites:
NotCot
io9
aintitcoolnews
Uncrate

What my grocery cart is filled with when the girls go out of town:
Doritos
Pop tarts
Oreos

Favorite TV shows (current):
Survivor
30 Rock
The Office
Ghost Hunters
Paranormal State
The Amazing Race

Better week...

This week I got through some big milestones and delivered some good work. Got some good props too. Lot's of visibility for my project right now, and some key execs are watching which is both frigtening and rewarding. When we had completed our work, I sent the announcement email to my GM, who forwarded it to my VP. Wow, that's huge. But it got better when my VP sent it to BV and KT - great recognition and opportunity for me to increase my visibility. I've got GMs visiting my office, and lot's of people throughout the org who are telling me what a good job I'm doing. I'm not trying to be overly prideful, but I also think it's important to enjoy the recognition and take the kudos when they come. And it's nice, to have been struggling for 6 months or so, and to finally getting into a groove. I felt better about my job this week, no question.

Found out that I'll be presenting in Beijing and Singapore next month...kind of crazy to think about little old me doing that, but cool as well. In general, my attitude about this job is to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself so that when I come to the end of it, I can say that I've done it all...presented in front of execs, made tough decisions, managed large groups of people, presented in front of an audience. I hate alot of that stuff, but it only gets easier when you do it. And this job puts me in front of a lot of tough situations that are going to test me, and push me. But this is my extended B-school experience, and I've got to do this stuff here and now. So I'm going to do it. The other challenges that I've faced are:

• Launched and managing my W7 v-team...managing a team of 15-20 people each who will provide a key to my success.
• Presented in front of execs (still planning to in two weeks when I'm in front of G-ggs).
• Present updates and provide guidance on monthly conference calls to 70-100 people.
• Getting other people to pay for the stuff I need to succeed.
• Managing a huge project on limited resources.

Tons more, but I'm tired tonight. In general, this is a tough part of life right now, but a great opportunity that I'm seizing every chance I can.

My prayer today was...

Thank you for blue skies and pink trees.

I needed that.

Maddie calls her hands...

Paws...so cute! Didn't want to forget it.

Onward and upward...

I love the ending of the Chronicles of Narnia. I shant spoil it, but there's this wonderful part where all of the loved ones from the series appear, one by one, and start running towards this mountain of unfathomable size. As the run, the go faster and faster and higher and higher...all heading for turns out to be Heaven. One of them (Maybe Reepicheep?) keeps saying "Onward and Upward".

That's the kind of mood I'm in today. It's been a weekend of sorrows for our family. First, we had to put Spooky to sleep. We couldn't bring Spooky with us, Abby's so allergic to him, and I couldn't find a home for him. So it came to that. I loved Spooky. Sure, he wasn't nice to the girls, and yes, he was kind of a grumpy cat, but I did love him. I'll never forget when Melanie brought him home, how little and sweet he was. How he'd perch on my shoulder and chase lasers and just in every way be a cat. Towards the end it was hard to have him. But I think about the beginning too, and miss that little kitty. I believe that when this life is over, all of the good things of life will be there in their pure form. And I believe Spooky will be there, and I look forward to holding him again.

Tomorrow the movers come to take away our stuff. The house we left today will never be the same...someone else will be the new owners. They'll make it their own, paint it their colors, make it their own. And they should, it's their right.

But me, I'll always remember it as the house that we built. It has all of us in it...everything about that house reflects us as a family.

Homes aren't just walls and roofs - it was a reflection of us. It was humble, but pretty. It was perfectly practical! It was always better than you expected. And it was comfortable and nice. Kinda like us Kennedys! Not the showiest, or flashiest, but consistent, reliable, practical and pretty. It was a great place to live.

I'll never ever forget playing with Abby and Maddie downstairs. You could be perfectly content and comfortable sitting on the floor - something I've always wanted (wink wink). And because the room was long and wide, you could play till your hearts content. We played Space Ship (think blankets, pillows, swords, and a doctor bag in case you got bit by a big spider). We played Treasure Maps (homemade of course...and with me playing several parts like Peter Pan and Captain Hook at the same time). We played soccer. And we made up games (like the one where I'd throw the huge exercise ball at them down the hallway at the girls. If it hit the door I got a point; if they stopped it they'd get one. It was a funny little game for funny little girls).

Outside living was nice too. I loved watching Abby and Maddie play next door with their little friend Sydney. They'd just walk over and play...easy peasy Japanesey as Abby would say.

I loved watching Melanie take such excellent care of the yard. She cared for every bed, weeded faithfully, planted trees, flowers, and shrubs that she thought would make it pretty. And it was beautiful thanks to her.

I'll even miss weedwacking. Only after five years did I learn how to do it so that it didn't wack the crap out of the grass. It's easy, I learned. Just a little pressure will cut it - no need to go full throttle when just a little did the trick.

I taught Abby to ride a bike out on that perfectly level sidewalk. I always wanted a sidewalk that was level when I was a kid. The only place I could ever ride my bike was on the scary Stony Creek road - not kid friendly at all! So I was thrilled to have that perfect sidewalk for my kids where I could teach them to safely ride their bikes. I'll never forget (thanks to the videos) watching her learn, then go go go.

There are too many memories to list. But that house was a tremendous blessing to our family, was the place where little Maddie grew up, and where we blossomed as a family. We will miss it. But he future is bright, and there are other happy times coming for the Kennedys.

So I think I'll end where I began. Onward and upward.

Open letter to my bros and sisters...

For some reason I really long to be with my brothers and sisters doing stuff like when we were kids, like:

I'd love to go to Bill Knapps and have dinner together. We could all look at those kids meals...the old ones, the lion, the tiger, the chicken. We could share bean soup and share a chocolate cake for dessert.

I'd love to ride home together after church, a ridiculous sight of all 8 of us crunched into that small Ford Escort. We'd all make fun of other people's funny church faces, recognizing that we were as grungy and backwards as we absolutely looked.

I'd love to go to a Stake dance with John, Mike, Jake, or Nate. We could do an award-winning lip synch, or flirt with the ladies. No one stood out like the Kennedys...in a good way.

I'd love to fight over a place to sit in front of the TV. I'd love to hear Mom say "Allah", her magical power that saved our seats so we could go to the bathroom.

I'd love love love to go to bed upstairs together as a family. I'd love to hear the stories, hear the songs, talk, make jokes, and slowly fade to sleep together.

I'd love to play G.I. Joe with Nate or Jake. I'd love to be Snake Eyes one more time. When I hold the figure in my hands as an adult, I know exactly what he can and should do. And I would love that feeling of escapism and creativity.

I'd love to sit around and hear a newly returned missionary (insert any ones name here) tell us about their mission. I'd love to see what gifts they brought us. I'd love to hear strong, powerful testimonies.

I'd love to hear Mom read a scripture or say a prayer. In those moments, rare as they might be, I felt the spirit and knew that she knew it was all true.

Those are some of the things I'd miss. I miss the sweet bond of having brothers and sisters who fight and argue but who also love each other deeply and sweetly. I'm lucky to have had that...and I miss it tonight.