Thursday, January 23, 2020

Do you build bridges or cross them?

I was thinking about my Mom, Melanie's mom, and so many others who struggle through their lives. There's an unfairness to suffering that doesn't jive with most people's sense of justice, including mine. As I've thought about this reality, I've also come to realize that some people build bridges, others cross them. 

People who build bridges are the ones breaking norms and challenging status quo. They make big, bold steps to change the direction of their lives. They break patterns, especially negative ones, with the intent or hope to realize a brighter future that they may never realize. They make sacrifices that they don't benefit from and plant gardens they don't harvest. 

I believe, for instance, that my mom is one such person. Her life has been one of struggle and challenge. She has never had money, support, or trusting relationships. She has battled poverty, health, the gravitational pull of sin, and trust. She has done it alone. Hers would be a sad story if not for the bridge she built.

It's a bridge built of faith. Faith that she wove into the fabric of her kids lives day after day, year after year. Faith that God would do something with her family that she was unable to do. Faith that her minor investments in her kids would realize a tremendous ROI. The best bet my mom has ever made was in God's ability to pay off a promise that if you "follow me, I will make you..."

It's a bridge built on trust. Mom never had a deep bench of friends or family to trust. Her relationships were challenged. Yet, she taught us to trust her and God. And was there when we needed her. 

It's a bridge built on love. My mom is imperfect. It's possible when listening to me talk about her that you may find her to be flawless. The reality is far different. She acknowledges freely and honestly her many flaws. But, love - unconditional, real, dirty, raw - love is something she gave us. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't always administered correctly. But, no one could argue that she didn't love us. 

If this is the bridge my mom built, that means I'm a bridge crosser. It is a lot easier being a bridge crosser. Less suffering, fewer problems, smoother tail winds. It would appear then that I have fewer responsibilities. Nothing is further from the truth. In fact, I may have much larger responsibilities because of my ease. Responsibilities like:

1) Multiply the blessings. One of my responsibilities is to do greater things and make my life, my family, the world at large better. If I fail to give back, I have failed the bridge builders.
2) Remember the bridge builders. It is so easy to take for granted that there's even a bridge to cross. We didn't see it built, we didn't suffer, we may not even notice it as we cross. But, if we forget those who worked for us we run the risk of failing. Consider the following.

In the Old Testament we learn about Bridge Builders and Bridge Crossers. It says:


10 And it shall be, when the Lord thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers (the bridge builders), to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee (the bridge crossers) great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,
11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;
And, then a final warning:
12 Then beware lest thou aforget the Lord, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
I revere my mom for helping build a bridge that can last for this life and eternity. I hope I cross it in a way that brings her blessings forever.