My question to God

I've been thinking about asking God a simple question:

If I gave you my life, what would you do with it?

This is an important question. The answer is equally important. I think in everyone's life we need to consciously or unconsciously pose this question and take action on the answer.

My personal hesitation is that I'm fearful of the response, and equally fearful of my ability to do as he wants. So it fundamentally comes down to: Am I willing to act on it?

This much I know: God can do more with my life than I could ever dream of myself. I think of the quote by C.S. Lewis where he says:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

His vision for us is so much grander and fuller than we could ever imagine. But it takes a willingness to submit that will to him. To lay our lives on the alter and let him make of us what he will. Maybe this is the only question that really matters. 

I hope to have the courage to ask and act.

Grateful for groceries

Yesterday while shopping for the family I head over to our local Smiths. While wandering the store for items, a few thoughts and memories stirred me.

The first thought sent me back 3.5 decades to Michigan. I recall my Mom bringing us with her to Meijers for grocery shopping. I recall her parking in the back of Meijers where there were fewer people, then heading in to load the cart with food supplies to feed the eight of us. I remember a sense of dread and uneasiness as we'd approach the cashier. Mom would first unload the essentials, and begin asking the cashier to give us a total. As the total drew nearer to the amount of money she had, she would begin adding or taking things out so as not to go over the actual amount of money she had in her hand or bank account. It seemed a few times (or many, just a sense of "oftenness") that her check would be rejected and we'd have to pay a different way or or walk away. I'm grateful for a Mom who would endure a lifetime of humiliation for her family. Who would stare it straight in the eyes day after day. And today, I'm even more grateful that I can walk into any store, with a need for almost anything, and buy it if I need it. I'm almost embarrassed that my Mom had it so poorly, and I have it so nicely. I hope to never forget what my mom endured for us. I also hope to never forget where I came from, and where I've come - all thanks to a loving Heavenly Father who has taken my humble family and made us better.

The second thought was this: I'm so grateful to live in this country, at this time, with this level of peace and prosperity. While walking through that store I tried almost to see it as someone from another country might: full to the brim with the freshest foods, the greatest variety, the most quantity. Everything at my fingertips, and at a very good price. I felt guilty - I who have so much, and others, who have so little. It doesn't seem fair, and it makes me nervous to know what God expects of me versus those who have so little. But, in that moment all that I felt was a genuine sense of awe and gratitude. I hope that's a good start.

Another year, another class to teach

I'm excited to begin teaching a new group of Sunday School kids this year, including my very own Abby! I've been deeply blessed by the opportunity to teach great kids over the years and am finding that I both like it and seem to be good at it. In fact, this Christmas one of my coolest students ever, Johnny J., dropped off a present and a little note. In it he simply said, "To Tim, for being the best teacher the Mormons have ever seen." It made my day to know that my efforts were appreciated and that I was making a difference. When I look across the different things I could be doing in Church, I'm very glad that I am able to teach the youth and hope that continues for a very long time.

New Year

Happy 2017.

Happy to report I accomplished a few key goals this last year that I look forward to building on.

First, I got into pretty good shape. My max bench is 215, squat 250, dead lift 275. I'm running a 9 min mile and am stronger and healthier than I've been in a while. This was accomplished by working on 4-5x/week and generally eating healthier. This year I want to really understand how food affects me and work on generally eating cleaner, more consciously.

Second, I taught at the U as an adjunct professor. I built the course, marketing to businesses, from scratch and delivered a great class. At the end the students were so complimentary. Most came up and expressed their appreciation and sentiment that it was one of, if not the best class they had at the U. They encouraged me to continue to teach and share my experience, which I will gladly do in the future.

Third, I developed a bit more of a consulting practice and worked for 470, an ERP Technology Cloud company, and Priority Dispatch. Not major dough, but it's nice to have something additional coming in and building a bit of an additional practice.

We traveled pretty extensively, going to Orlando, Disneyland, Seattle, and Hawaii (twice, the Big Island and Maui).

Here's a little about the family. 

Maddie had a great year. She is a leader in school - she was selected to visit the Mayor of Kaysville as one of a few students in all of 5th grade. She had two great seasons of soccer where she played hard defense and scored some great goals. She was chosen to be a special needs helper at school on account of her kindness and leadership. She and I had a great trip together to Disneyland for the annual Halloween party - she was the cutest Belle there, and I was the her tag-along beast. She helped find $200 this year - once on the streets in Anaheim where she saw and pointed out a $100 bill, the second time with Gigi on the streets of Layton as a gift card. She's played basketball and is a great developing athlete. She is the nanny to three cute babies (Fayth, Millie, and Evelyn) who she cares for every day. Most of her Christmas present this year was baby supplies to help with these little cuties. She's a better nanny to them than most people would be to actual kids. She is a bright light in our life and helps us stay young and fresh and funny.

Favorite song: Feed the birds frosted flakes (Makena Beach early morning snorkeling)
Favorite book:
Best job: Teacher
Best friend: Alexis
Favorite movie: Moana
Funniest moment: Jordyn the turtle (Maddie made a sand turtle in Maui and within 20 mins her head was smashed. Since, Maddie has been paying tribute to her legacy)
Favorite moment: Playing ping pong and getting smoked by Maddie's crazy serve
Worst moment: Overall, great year.
What I learned: Social media, the fun of Instagram, Animal Jam (AJ), Family House
Favorite apps: Family House, AJ, Instagram, FaceTime
Favorite subject in school: Math
Friend group at school: Kerri, Brinlee, Kaydance, Chloe, Presley, Bryker, Ashley, Mae

Abby had an impressive year. One of her best moments was going to Montreal with Mom...it rained the whole time, but they loved the shopping and spending time in old graveyards. She's excelled in school - she's got a rocking 4.0 and is especially good in French and Math. One of the things that Abby is really good about is getting ahead of things. For instance, she did a leaf project in school and got ahead of it and killed it. Abby liked golf and tennis lessons this year. She was student of the month in October. What really stands out to me though is the social excitement...friends, boys, etc. Abby is really coming into her own and finally in Utah has a fun group of kids who are sweet, cute, loyal, and fun. She met a special boy named Noah who is a fun, kind, thoughtful boy. She's not quite ready to call him a boyfriend, but they definitely like each other...alot.

Favorite song: Cheap Thrills
Favorite book: Great Expectations
Best friend: Lexa
Favorite movie: Moana
Favorite moment: For me, teaching her to drive and playing modern warfare
Favorite apps: Texting, Facetime, Instagram
Worst moment: Spraining her knee skiing at Snow Basin
What I learned: Snowing
Teen moment: Girl Scout Camp
Abby's friend group at school is: Makayla, Michael, Addy, Zach, Noah, etc.

Mom had a good year, for the most part. She continues to work at MarketStar, but doesn't take it too seriously thankfully. The last part of the year Mom's been prepping for the bar and that's been nothing  but painful for her. The good news is she killed the professional responsibility part of the Bar and is prepping hard for the real deal in Feb. Mom has been running primary as the secretary and does a good job generally providing not just management, but also guidance of how to best support the primary kids. Mom spends a lot of time keeping the house running, i.e. doing carpool, driving the girls to sewing and piano, cooking, and generally doing an amazing job of keeping us well fed and happy. She continues to love to walk, and took up jogging later in the year.

Favorite song: She won't commit
Best friend: She won't commit
Favorite movie: Moana
Favorite moment: She won't commit
Favorite apps: She won't commit
Worst moment: She won't commit
What I learned: She won't commit