Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
A summer walk...
Tonight we went on a nice long summer night walk. There are a bunch of blackberries along the walk, so we brought a bowl and picked and picked and picked. Mel, Abby, and I got a lot of pricks from the thorns but were able to gather a whole big bowl so that Mel can hopefully make some jelly sometime soon. Maddie sat in her stroller the whole time eating "literally" the fruits of our labors (except for teh time I took her to tinkle behind the stumps). As the CSO (Chief Safety Officer) of the family I kept one eye out for the bears - you never know when one might mistake Abby for a little jack rabbit.
As we walked home, the sliver of the moon was so pretty between the trees. Maddie said "the moon looks so pretty...but it looks like a piece fell off". Very cute, as always.
As we walked home, the sliver of the moon was so pretty between the trees. Maddie said "the moon looks so pretty...but it looks like a piece fell off". Very cute, as always.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I gave this talk on Sunday
The title of my talk today is Waiting Patiently on the Lord.
My daughter Maddie is a tremendously sweet, smart, creative girl. But like most 3 year olds, she lacks patience. Many evenings she might say “I want to go to the park.” I must be very careful how I respond, because if I say “sure, we can go to the park” she will immediately interpret that to mean we can go to the park now. And if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” she will say “I want to go now”. And she’ll say it again and again until I can’t take it anymore. She’s very persistent, but not very patient.
Part of her lack of patience is that she really loves to play and really wants to go to the park. It’s a good desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the other part is that she doesn’t have a good sense of time, so if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” that doesn’t mean as much to her. She wants it NOW.
In the eternal scheme of things I think sometimes we must seem like 3 year olds to Heavenly Father. We look up to him and ask:
When will I get married?
When will I get a job?
When will I have a family?
When will my health improve?
When will my children return to the Church?
These are all righteous desires. But they all have the component of time associated with them, and it’s in the waiting that we become frustrated. And it’s this reason that we need patience so much - because sometimes God’s answer to us is “wait.”
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His”.
Patience is closely related to many Christ-like attributes, but especially to hope and faith – because sometimes we are required to wait for the promised blessings of the Lord to be fulfilled. President Monson said, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required”.
I know that I’ve questioned Heavenly Father and his timing before, when my patience was tried and tested. Let me share one personal example.
When Melanie and I were first married, we looked forward to having children. That’s a righteous blessing, and our patriarchal blessings told us we would have children. So we had faith. And we waited. But year after year, nothing but frustration and hopelessness as we wondered what God’s plan was for us and our family. We were frustrated when people would say things to us or ask us when we were going to have kids. Of the many challenges that our family has undergone, I think this test challenged our faith and patience in God’s plan more than any other thing.
More than 7 years ago, during this time of great frustration and test of patience we were having a particularly troubling stretch. My sweet wife Melanie was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a series of treatments. Shortly after her second surgery we received a surprising call. Through the blessing of LDS Family Services we were selected to adopt a beautiful little girl. In the middle of this tremendously difficult time, the blessing that we had hoped and waited for was finally about to come to pass. The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. A few weeks later, and in the most unexpected way and time, our little Abby came into our home.
If we had it our way, and on our timeline, it’s possible that Abby might never have come to our home. A million things had to happen to us, and to others, to orchestrate that miracle. I think it’s safe to assume that had we been able to have children when we wanted to, we never ever would have had Abby. It wouldn’t have been part of the plan. That experience really helped us understand that God has a plan, and that when we are patient we will be blessed more than we could ever know.
I think each of you have had many similar experiences. The characters have changed, and the challenges are different. Some are bigger, others smaller. But each of us will face challenges or mortality. And when we patiently endure, we will be redeemed.
In God’s eyes, he sees us on an eternal journey. This leg, called mortality, is important, but it’s part of a long eternal journey. And when we patiently and faithfully endure the trials of mortality, we grow closer and closer to becoming more like our Father.
C.S. Lewis put it in a way that I love. He asked us to imagine that you are a living house. We invite God into our life, and ask him to rebuild that house. But like most things, this takes time and is harder than we thought it would be. At first, perhaps, we understand what He is doing. He is fixing the plumbing and repairing the roof – things you knew needed to have done and so we’re not surprised. But then He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts too much, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. And he is patient in this pursuit. God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy and he will continue to work on us, here and there, patiently building little perfect beings.
Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said this: “[The Lord] gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”
With patience we gain a better perspective. We realize that time is something that is only measured to man, not to God. We understand that the difficulties and challenges that we undergo in this life are only a small thing, and that if we endure it well we will be exalter.
Martin Luther King Jr. once said “unearned suffering is redemptive”. I think part of what that means is that when we go through challenges, when we patiently endure suffering, we are changed. Our faith is tested, but not broken. And patience is the attribute that makes that possible.
Patience is a lost virtue in today’s society. We demand things immediately, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So much is so easily gained, that we forget that every good thing that ever comes does so line upon line, precept on precept. My prayer today is that we will each step back and patiently wait on the Lord’s blessings. One thing is sure…it will certainly be worth it.
My daughter Maddie is a tremendously sweet, smart, creative girl. But like most 3 year olds, she lacks patience. Many evenings she might say “I want to go to the park.” I must be very careful how I respond, because if I say “sure, we can go to the park” she will immediately interpret that to mean we can go to the park now. And if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” she will say “I want to go now”. And she’ll say it again and again until I can’t take it anymore. She’s very persistent, but not very patient.
Part of her lack of patience is that she really loves to play and really wants to go to the park. It’s a good desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the other part is that she doesn’t have a good sense of time, so if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” that doesn’t mean as much to her. She wants it NOW.
In the eternal scheme of things I think sometimes we must seem like 3 year olds to Heavenly Father. We look up to him and ask:
When will I get married?
When will I get a job?
When will I have a family?
When will my health improve?
When will my children return to the Church?
These are all righteous desires. But they all have the component of time associated with them, and it’s in the waiting that we become frustrated. And it’s this reason that we need patience so much - because sometimes God’s answer to us is “wait.”
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His”.
Patience is closely related to many Christ-like attributes, but especially to hope and faith – because sometimes we are required to wait for the promised blessings of the Lord to be fulfilled. President Monson said, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required”.
I know that I’ve questioned Heavenly Father and his timing before, when my patience was tried and tested. Let me share one personal example.
When Melanie and I were first married, we looked forward to having children. That’s a righteous blessing, and our patriarchal blessings told us we would have children. So we had faith. And we waited. But year after year, nothing but frustration and hopelessness as we wondered what God’s plan was for us and our family. We were frustrated when people would say things to us or ask us when we were going to have kids. Of the many challenges that our family has undergone, I think this test challenged our faith and patience in God’s plan more than any other thing.
More than 7 years ago, during this time of great frustration and test of patience we were having a particularly troubling stretch. My sweet wife Melanie was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a series of treatments. Shortly after her second surgery we received a surprising call. Through the blessing of LDS Family Services we were selected to adopt a beautiful little girl. In the middle of this tremendously difficult time, the blessing that we had hoped and waited for was finally about to come to pass. The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. A few weeks later, and in the most unexpected way and time, our little Abby came into our home.
If we had it our way, and on our timeline, it’s possible that Abby might never have come to our home. A million things had to happen to us, and to others, to orchestrate that miracle. I think it’s safe to assume that had we been able to have children when we wanted to, we never ever would have had Abby. It wouldn’t have been part of the plan. That experience really helped us understand that God has a plan, and that when we are patient we will be blessed more than we could ever know.
I think each of you have had many similar experiences. The characters have changed, and the challenges are different. Some are bigger, others smaller. But each of us will face challenges or mortality. And when we patiently endure, we will be redeemed.
In God’s eyes, he sees us on an eternal journey. This leg, called mortality, is important, but it’s part of a long eternal journey. And when we patiently and faithfully endure the trials of mortality, we grow closer and closer to becoming more like our Father.
C.S. Lewis put it in a way that I love. He asked us to imagine that you are a living house. We invite God into our life, and ask him to rebuild that house. But like most things, this takes time and is harder than we thought it would be. At first, perhaps, we understand what He is doing. He is fixing the plumbing and repairing the roof – things you knew needed to have done and so we’re not surprised. But then He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts too much, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. And he is patient in this pursuit. God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy and he will continue to work on us, here and there, patiently building little perfect beings.
Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said this: “[The Lord] gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”
With patience we gain a better perspective. We realize that time is something that is only measured to man, not to God. We understand that the difficulties and challenges that we undergo in this life are only a small thing, and that if we endure it well we will be exalter.
Martin Luther King Jr. once said “unearned suffering is redemptive”. I think part of what that means is that when we go through challenges, when we patiently endure suffering, we are changed. Our faith is tested, but not broken. And patience is the attribute that makes that possible.
Patience is a lost virtue in today’s society. We demand things immediately, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So much is so easily gained, that we forget that every good thing that ever comes does so line upon line, precept on precept. My prayer today is that we will each step back and patiently wait on the Lord’s blessings. One thing is sure…it will certainly be worth it.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Yes, I play Barbies...
So yesterday was just a perfect summer day here in Seattle. The girls were outside playing Barbies, and I was inside for some reason until it dawned on me...I should go play with them. So for about an hour we played Barbies outside on the grass. It was so fun!
The King and Queen sent our little rag tag team to hunt for the "Book of Magic". So we found a little square piece of wood and drew lines on it so it looked a book and hid it in a bush. And we found some little pieces of flower that were yellow and made them into the campfire. We made sleeping bags out of leaves, and Abby made little a backpack out of little strings. Maddie picked some little strawberries and we cooked them over the fire. We just laughed, and talked, and created stuff, and were creative. It was so much fun.
Lately I've really wanted to do something fun and creative. I've been writing down the good stories that I tell the girls, and maybe I'll publish a little book outside of the one I'm currently working on. Maybe a complition of little stories for the girls. Maybe something more. I think in general it's good to do something totally different for your brain, and since I'm no good at music or art, I think I might have found a hobby. Stayed tuned!
The King and Queen sent our little rag tag team to hunt for the "Book of Magic". So we found a little square piece of wood and drew lines on it so it looked a book and hid it in a bush. And we found some little pieces of flower that were yellow and made them into the campfire. We made sleeping bags out of leaves, and Abby made little a backpack out of little strings. Maddie picked some little strawberries and we cooked them over the fire. We just laughed, and talked, and created stuff, and were creative. It was so much fun.
Lately I've really wanted to do something fun and creative. I've been writing down the good stories that I tell the girls, and maybe I'll publish a little book outside of the one I'm currently working on. Maybe a complition of little stories for the girls. Maybe something more. I think in general it's good to do something totally different for your brain, and since I'm no good at music or art, I think I might have found a hobby. Stayed tuned!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Highlights from Maddie's prayer tonight
Thank you for Mom and Dad and Abby's shirt.
Thank you for the tables.
Thank you for flowers and trees that grow.
Thank you for Minnie Mouse.
Bless me and Abby when we get married.
Thank you that Abby and me can go to Neverland.
Bless the dogs that grow and turn into people.
Thank you for the tables.
Thank you for flowers and trees that grow.
Thank you for Minnie Mouse.
Bless me and Abby when we get married.
Thank you that Abby and me can go to Neverland.
Bless the dogs that grow and turn into people.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My tribute to Melanie...
I have not done justice praising Melanie on this blog. Melanie has been my truest confidant, supporter, and advocate since we met and is the most amazing woman and wife in the world. Recently we celebrated our lucky 13th wedding anniversary. In honor of this occasion, I want to spend a few minutes honoring my good, sweet wife.
I guess the first way I think about her is how I'm different and better because of our life together. She has always believed in me, has helped me through the hard times, and been there to celebrate the good times. We've built our lives together, step by step. I know that I'm a better person because of her. Her encouragement and counsel have helped me to become a better husband, father, and person. Having her in my life is a blessing - and a miracle.
When we first met, she was a graduating Michigan Wolverine - one of the smartest, most talented students at one of the best academic institutions in the world. She could have gone to any school she was just that talented. She had planned for years on getting into a great college and had lots of choices. But fortunately for me she felt like Michigan was the place for her so she went there. For four years she studied, worked, dated, and did normal college stuff. And then we met...
The contrast between where Mel was and where I was is laughable. When we met I was a humble waiter by night, sophomore college student by day (at lowly Washtenaw Community College no less). I was driving a piece of crud Toyota Tercel, had a scant savings, but lots of hope and potential. What she saw in me I will never know. Her parents must have really wondered what she was thinking when she told them who she was dating. Her ex-boyfriend asked how she could date someone from "Ypsi-tucky". But we both believe in magic, and have felt it throughout our lives together.
Dating Melanie was like seeing light through the darkness. It was like living hope. It was all laughter, fun, teasing, flirting, kissing...there was none of the bad stuff, and all of the good stuff. We could spend days and days together doing nothing - doing homework, talking, walking, holding hands. It was magical. I remember early on before we told anyone we were dating we would run around the Institute holding hands in private so that no one would know we were dating. There's nothing like holding hands when you're young and in love. The newness of the touch. The thrill of new love.
We did a lot of talking too in those early days (still do). I'm not a huge talker, but I could sit with her for hours and hours and talk with her. It was so easy...it just flowed. And while we talked I would look into her eyes and see forever, in those beautiful green and hazel eyes. That Spring in Ann Arbor was bursting with life, hope, and of course, love. Three months after we started dating we were engaged.
One day after we were engaged I went down to have lunch with her in this super formal dining room in her dorm. There were all of these super elite women, but so we sat with them and ate like normal. When we told them we were recently engaged, they must have thought we were nuts. 23 and 22...so young to be getting married, but for us it was true love and so we made preparations for our wedding.
I have to say that those six months - the time from when we met to when we got married was absolutely magical in every. We both felt it, and still think and talk about it. All of these years later we both know that our marriage was meant to be, that it was something special, and that if we did things the right way we could have those feelings forever.
The fun thing is that the magic still exists. We might not have those exact same feelings, but we have new ones. The newness is gone, but each season brings a new experience that we can share together. We absolutely love being parents together. We are absolutely in synch in so many things. We are able to sit together, as equals, to plan and think about the future. Sometimes we have the most spiritual conversations, and other times we simply laugh our heads off. Today it's not new, but it's still magical and special all the same.
Anyway, I wanted to simply say that I love you Mel, and am so blessed to have you in my life.
I guess the first way I think about her is how I'm different and better because of our life together. She has always believed in me, has helped me through the hard times, and been there to celebrate the good times. We've built our lives together, step by step. I know that I'm a better person because of her. Her encouragement and counsel have helped me to become a better husband, father, and person. Having her in my life is a blessing - and a miracle.
When we first met, she was a graduating Michigan Wolverine - one of the smartest, most talented students at one of the best academic institutions in the world. She could have gone to any school she was just that talented. She had planned for years on getting into a great college and had lots of choices. But fortunately for me she felt like Michigan was the place for her so she went there. For four years she studied, worked, dated, and did normal college stuff. And then we met...
The contrast between where Mel was and where I was is laughable. When we met I was a humble waiter by night, sophomore college student by day (at lowly Washtenaw Community College no less). I was driving a piece of crud Toyota Tercel, had a scant savings, but lots of hope and potential. What she saw in me I will never know. Her parents must have really wondered what she was thinking when she told them who she was dating. Her ex-boyfriend asked how she could date someone from "Ypsi-tucky". But we both believe in magic, and have felt it throughout our lives together.
Dating Melanie was like seeing light through the darkness. It was like living hope. It was all laughter, fun, teasing, flirting, kissing...there was none of the bad stuff, and all of the good stuff. We could spend days and days together doing nothing - doing homework, talking, walking, holding hands. It was magical. I remember early on before we told anyone we were dating we would run around the Institute holding hands in private so that no one would know we were dating. There's nothing like holding hands when you're young and in love. The newness of the touch. The thrill of new love.
We did a lot of talking too in those early days (still do). I'm not a huge talker, but I could sit with her for hours and hours and talk with her. It was so easy...it just flowed. And while we talked I would look into her eyes and see forever, in those beautiful green and hazel eyes. That Spring in Ann Arbor was bursting with life, hope, and of course, love. Three months after we started dating we were engaged.
One day after we were engaged I went down to have lunch with her in this super formal dining room in her dorm. There were all of these super elite women, but so we sat with them and ate like normal. When we told them we were recently engaged, they must have thought we were nuts. 23 and 22...so young to be getting married, but for us it was true love and so we made preparations for our wedding.
I have to say that those six months - the time from when we met to when we got married was absolutely magical in every. We both felt it, and still think and talk about it. All of these years later we both know that our marriage was meant to be, that it was something special, and that if we did things the right way we could have those feelings forever.
The fun thing is that the magic still exists. We might not have those exact same feelings, but we have new ones. The newness is gone, but each season brings a new experience that we can share together. We absolutely love being parents together. We are absolutely in synch in so many things. We are able to sit together, as equals, to plan and think about the future. Sometimes we have the most spiritual conversations, and other times we simply laugh our heads off. Today it's not new, but it's still magical and special all the same.
Anyway, I wanted to simply say that I love you Mel, and am so blessed to have you in my life.
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