Attack of the pigeons...

Everywhere we went in Maui we were surrounded by the strangest looking pigeons. Mini-pigeons. But what they lacked in size they made up in tenaciousness and numbers. They were everywhere. And of course Maddie was terrified of them. So I thought I'd share a few of the pics of these "hoards" of pidgeons and show how they were always around little Madsie...always there, always lurking.

About Christmas...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I wanted to share a few thoughts about what Christmas means to me...

Holy Infant, so Tender and Mild

I try to think about Jesus' atonement and the Gospel as much as possible, but at Christmas I like to think about Him as a baby. It's the time for me when Jesus is most human. I've seen a lot of babies in my life, and I think that Jesus was a lot like these babies. I can picture him more as a baby than any other way. It's easier to imagine holding Him. One can almost picture how tenderly Mary looked at Him, how she had great hope for him in that little body. She probably had little talks with him...but he wouldn't understand them yet, because he was a baby. There's a great deal that is very special about all of this, and that's how I like to think of Jesus at Christmas.

Christmas Music

I like the "Pop Christmas" songs ok, but am more of traditionalist when it comes to Christmas music. The songs I really want to hear at Christmas are about Jesus and typically have an old English sound to them. This is my ultimate Christmas Playlist:

• Wexford Carol
• Away in a Manager
• Were you there?
• God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
• Infant Holy, Infant Lowly
• Lully Lu
• What Child Is This?
• O Holy Night

A Christmas Carol

Other than the actual Christmas story, the story I want to read or see (in a play, preferably) is A Christmas Carol. I consider this to be a spiritual story of hope and redemption, and to me is the very spirit of Christmas. I get teary-eyed when I think of the Cratchett Family without Tiny Tim. I get teary-eyed when Tiny Tim says that he hopes people would think of Jesus when they saw him. I get choked up when the shackles that had held Scrooge down begin to fall off...when his repentence and redemption begin. I think of the years of wasted life...the regrets for a life wasted. But the power of the words and the story ultimately are about hope and redemption, and it's one of my favorite stories of all time, not just at Christmas.

Food

There are a couple of things I really want to eat at Christmas time. I want Egg Nog. I want Dory's Christmas Cookies...the Ginger Snaps. Melanie's butter cookies too. I don't care as much about the dinner, but I want some fun appetizers and hopefully a cheese ball. Funny, I know, but that's what I want.

A Christmas Tree Surrounded in Toys

To me, Christmas morning is about giving toys. The other stuff...clothes and such...are good and useful, but I like to see my girls openiing toys. My memories are of coming down to a cold, dark family room and seeing the majesty of the Christmas tree surrounded by gifts. Every gift was fun to open, but the toys were the ones that sent chills through me, that said to me that Santa had been there, and that felt magical. This morning, seeing the girls opening the Zhu Zhu pets and the other stuff that they opened was for me the highlight.

Christmas Shows

Two really stand out to me...A Charlie Brown Christmas and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Totally different, but these are the two shows I want to watch. A Charlie Brown Christmas is the best holiday show on. It has a great spirit and message, highlighted by Linus narrating Luke 2.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is a totally different kind of show. It simply pokes at the fun and craziness of the season. I watched it one night after work by myself (or maybe Nate was there, I can't quite remember) and laughed by head off. Cousin Eddy wearing a black Dickie under a white sweater. Shooting down the hill on the greased sled. Getting stuck in the attic and watching old movies. I watched it in Hawaii and still laugh at it today.

Intelligent Design...

I'm no scientist. Only wanted to be an Astronomer briefly, until I realized that there was too much math involved. But I've often wondered about the creation, and have thought for the longest time that the Biblical story of the creation, and the scientific theories that have been made against it, could exist together.

One thing I believe is that God is a scientist. So when he set about planning the creation, he did things in a logical manner. He would need to understand all of the scientific fields perfectly, and would have to work them together to create this world. For instance, he built similar genetic codes, and then tweaked them to create the diversity that we see in the world. Therefore, the ape and the human could both be built with similar codes, without being the same things. Some people point to that fact and say that we evolved from them...I look at that and think "that's a pretty efficient way to build a world". To me it sounds like a good architect...the plans all have a foundation, load-bearing walls, roofs...but they don't want them to be the same. Each is different, has a different purpose. But they rely on similar principles.

But I also know that God is an artist. I believe that he has created the diversity of this world on purpose. It allowed him to showcase his creativity while surrounding us with interesting and unique climates, animals, plants, and people. For me, he created tropical islands and blue, warm water. For others he created big mountains with snow. But ultimately I believe this diversity was intentional and it reflects the character of God as I think of him...loving, thoughtful, logical, creative.

My feelings about this were stirred up this week when I saw this documentary. Ben Stein (surprised me too) was showing how atheists and the scientific community leadership are supressing any scientists who introduce Intelligent Design into the mix of theories around where we came from and why we're here. I would recommend all people of faith to rent and watch it. It's a moving, frightening revelation of how others are unfairly promoting Darwinism, and in an underlying way, atheism. How leading atheists use the theory of evolution to convince themselves that there is no God. The interviews are frightening. The atheist scientists sound like satan himself. Basically they said "first, you need to believe the theory of evolution. Once you do, you will let go of God. Once you let go of God, you quickly let go of the hope of an afterlife. With hope gone, you realize that there's nothing there. And once you've had this de-conversion, you want to tell others about it". It was frightening.

Making matters worse is the use of the power that Big Science has to influence the classroom, what papers are written, what professors succeed, and what the courts decide. It was to me a concise way to see how satan is attacking our families from every way. Every person of faith should watch it, and determine how they will protect their families from this. I know I will.

Heaven is Maui...

I love island life.

I think everyone has a climate that is them. For me, that's island life. I'm programmed for it. It works for me in everyway. It defines vacations for me. It helps melt away the stresses and cares of everyday life. Palm trees. Sun. Blue sky. Shorts, t-shirts, sandals. BBQ. The feeling of being a little hot, a little sweaty. Beaches. Sand. Fruit - the fresh, exotic kind, not the stale, old, refrigerated kind. The Irie attitude. The pace.

Even before Jamaica, and before I had been anywhere tropical, I longed for beaches and blue water. Jamaica brought that home to me in a very real way. And this sweet, 10-day long adventure in Maui has reminded me of all of this.

Maui has been really wonderful. In all fairness, it's mostly because Melanie is the best value vacation planner in the world. She lines up the most amazing vacations at a fraction of the price of others, and as a result we stay in **** hotels and live a lifestyle of the rich and famous, at Holiday Inn prices.

We've had a wonderful trip so far. We've felt grateful for being able to be here, and Heavenly Father has really made this a special trip. Both the whale watch and the snorkeling featured amazing views and interactions with wildlife. At the luau we were upgraded to the VIP section, front and center, for free. Both hotels have had spectactular views and rooms that were exactly what we needed, and more in some cases. We had two wonderful dinners at Leilanis and a delicious island breakfast at The Gazebo - the perfect combination of delicious food, great views, great service, and zero snootiness.

Maui has really been super in every way. Plus, you get all of the amenities of U.S. travel (something I'm liking more and more). I'll be posting more, likely when I'm back in Seattle and totally depressed.

Snorkeling in Maui and other adventures...

Abby and I had the best day snorkeling today. We headed out to Manele Bay where Abby braved the cold water and 35 foot depths to explore the coral reefs and see the pretty fish. She was super brave in the cold, salty water and was the smallest kid in the water that day.

The best part by far was the ride. On the way back we headed further out to a marine reserve where we saw Bottlenose Dolphins and several humpback whales playing in the water. The thrill of seeing whales is really something. I've never seen anything that big, that close, that wild. The Disney or Seaworld stuff is good and all, but it's still a bit fake. Here in Maui, it's so perfectly real and unscripted. For me it made it all the more thrilling and real. The whales got very close to our boat at one point. The captain couldn't move, so we sat there as they swam 20 feet from the boat. You could see their beautiful, huge bodies just sitting there below the water. It was so real.
While heading back the captain saw another group of dolphins and headed out to see them. It was by far one of the coolest things I've every seen. There must have been hundreds of these Spinner dolphins surrounding our boat, chasing us, jumping out of the water and spinning. There were babies too, fresh new little Spinner dolphins jumping and going crazy as you'd expect little babies to be. I think I got some good pics, and will post them when I get home.

On the way back we also saw a baby humpback and its mom, and were able to see the baby totally jumping out of the water and learning from its mom how to be a whale. These momma whales come all the way from Alaska to breed and protect their babies, fasting for several months to ensure that they procreate and protect their babies. It was really something to be a witness to this miracle.

Maddie's tender heart

Tonight I opened up my Ipod Touch that Mel got me for Christmas. I want to make sure it's humming by Hawaii, so I loaded up music and videos and was playing with it. It's sharp. Loving it.

I downloaded a movie a long time ago for the kids called Little G's Halloween. It's about a little ghost who goes trick or treating, only to be completely ignored at each house. He's a little ghost, and is carrying a white clothe - kind of like Maddie's blankey. So I pulled it up and showed it to Maddie, just for fun.

She watched it intently, and then left. She went down to tell Mel about it, and as she does she starts crying. Mel comes up and asks what movie she saw, so we sat down to watch it - the three of us. And she starts weeping again, really emotional. But it's a new emotion, one that I haven't seen come out that strongly before in Maddie. It's compassion. She was absolutely saddened to see that little ghost get turned away from house to house and receive no candy. It broke her heart, and so she cried and cried about it.

It made us both happy to see her so caring, so compassionate. It was sweet. She has a tender heart, and does watch out for little things. So it's only natural that she would have those feelings. To see them come so alive was really wonderful as a Dad.

My Christmas memories

At this time of year I often think of one of some Christmas pasts. Here are a couple that take me back to a different time and place.

One happened when I was little, I don't really know how old - probably 9 or 10. We were dirt poor as usual, and were the beneficiaries of other people's hand-me-downs and other odds and ends for the most part.

This year was different. My Grandma Kennedy sent a bunch of gifts this year - something she had never done before, or after. I think she must have come into some money or something. Anyway, there were a lot of gifts for me, and my favorite was the G.I. Joe Hovercraft. That toy brought me more joy and I played with it more than any other toy ever. I would say that it, and Snake Eyes, were my favorite toys as a kid. And Grandma Kennedy made that happen. Honestly, I don't have many other memories of her...but that was a great, magical Christmas.

Another one that makes me giggle was my favorite Christmas on my mission. I was serving in Kingston at the time, and although the people were very sweet to us, we didn't eat at members houses very often. Christmas time was very different. One woman, a very rich Chinese member, invited about 8 sets of us Elders to her house. What a feast we had. Her husband, a professional chef, prepared us the perfect looking steaks. They were meaty and nice cuts - Filet Mignon or better. But they were pepper steak, and hot as anything. Inedible. It was disappointing because we were all looking forward to them, but because they were so spicy none of us could eat it. Even the toughest guys couldn't do it. He was very disappointed, and we all felt horrible to leave those steaks on the table. Then she brought out for each of us a box. In it were the exact same thing - a jar of peanut butter, cookies, candies...all from the U.S., all from home. We were in heaven that night. None of us could afford these goodies on our own, and she bought them for all of us. It was such a special night for us, and memorable.

A couple of days later was Christmas, and we had a number of people invite us over for dinner. We thanked them all, but said that we already had plans. A number of people said, "Come over for dessert, or come over for appetizers, or come over to visit." So we had multiple places to go that Christmas. First, we went to Christmas dinner. It was a full on feast! We gourged, and with full bellies, headed to the next family. They surprised us with another full meal - we thanked them, but said we had already eaten. I think they thought we were teasing. They were borderline offended, and us, being Ambassadors of Jesus, sat down for dinner #2. Our final appointment that day was a single woman who was not very well to do. Instead of simply stopping by for a visit, she too had a meal for us. We considered our options. We could purge ourselves, but where? We could pass, but risk offending her. Knowing that neither option would work, we sat down for meal #3. Three huge meals in a couple of hours - we were sooooo sick. My companion had finished his plate, and went to the bathroom - maybe to purge himself, I don't know. But while he was gone, we loaded his plate with food with a huge second helping. When he returned, he realized his error. Being a good missionary, he finished it - but I think he almost lost it. It was funny, and one of my favorite Christmas memories.

My tithing blessing...

Melanie's my tithing blessing. She is such a great example to me of tithing, and has always faithfully paid it on behalf of our family. I don't even have to think about it...it's done, like clockwork, every month with faithfulness and consistency. I'm not saying that I wouldn't pay - but I will say that I have developed a stronger testimony of tithing because of her example. As our income grows, and those tithing checks grow with them, not once has she not considered paying a full, honest tithe.

As we approach tithing settlement, I'm really grateful for this.

Big Milestone

It dawned on me that this last move to Sammamish was monumental for one big reason - no Elders Quorum! Every move for the last 13 years has involved some level of EQ support. This time, we bit the bullet and hired some dudes from Eastern Europe to do the work. As I stood there, telling them what to do and where to put stuff, I felt very happy that it wasn't the Quorum doing the work. Usually I will do a majority of the work, taking on the big stuff or hustling faster so that people know see that I'm willing to bust my own hump. I always worry that enough people will come, and worry along the way that someone will get hurt or leave me right in the middle of the move. Plus, I kind of hate asking people for help. So this time I really enjoyed standing there and watching those guys working their butts off instead of me. And, to be honest, I don't think I could have done it this time. I'm too old to be schlepping stuff around.

I can do it myself...

Anytime I offer to help Maddie, she says "I can do it myself." They are her most used, and likely favorite, words. I like her spirit of independence, and indeed, she can do a lot by herself. It just takes some getting used to, transitioning from helping her do a lot of things to helping her do less and less. Not a bad thing, just a new thing.

Paris, Days 4-7

(I will update this with pics when I get home)

Published from Paris, France, 17/10/2009

Wow, what a whirlwind trip. I think Mel and I have finally admitted that we're "Energizer Bunny" tourists. We keep going, and going, and going...Today, we feel like our feet are bloody stumps and that we've been on the Bataan Death March or something. But it's all been worth it. For two and 1/2 days we've walked or taken taxis, subways, and boats across the City of Light, and have really enjoyed our brief but packed stay.

Mel is the perfect tour guide and traveling companion - lot's of laughing and good times. I think our bodies are broken, but our spirits energized a little.

And we've seen it all. Here's the recap.

Day4
I spent most of day 4 working, but was happy to take a cab to meet Mel at the Musee D'Orsay. She's right, it's spectacular. We saw hundreds of priceless, stunning artwork from our favorite art periods. Really liked how it was laid out as well, especially after the Louvre.

We went to dinner that night at a little hole in a wall in the Latin Quarter, and yeah, it was ok.

We thought it would be fun from here to head over to Notre Dame. We saw a movie that they were running about the building of it, and it was kind of funny to see a movie projector in an ancient cathedral. You couldn't see much, so we left and planned to come back in the day.

Day 5
Imagine that, we decided to walk up the Eiffel Tower. Big mistake for a couple of reasons. For one, it was tiring. Two floors up I was feeling the burn, and we had another dozen to go. We walked up to the first platform and agreed that we could see everything from there that you could see from the top, and that it wasn't worth it to go any further. Plus, honestly Mel was pretty scared of walking up that thing, and I wasn't much better.

We walked from the Eiffel tower through neighborhoods to Napoleon's Tomb. Along the way we stopped at a Patessierie, and had the best treats - Mel had an Almond Crossaint and I had a Religous. We also had Ham and Cheese on baguettes, which were good as well. Loved walking through really high end neighborhoods and hearing the kids in the schools and seeing them running through the parks. Enjoyed sitting on the streets eating under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.

Napolean's Tomb was cool - made me want to learn more about him. I commented that it was awfully big for such a little dude, but that's mostly a joke about him physically and not the size of his ego. In general the scale and beauty of everything was simply beyond my ability to describe. It was all simply elegant and beautiful.

We briefly explored the Hotel Invaldes - a hospital for injured soldiers. Looked at some old WWII stuff about Nazis, and wondered how the poor people of Europe made it through that war.

Next we took the metro to Monmarte. Took the Funicular to Sacre Couer; of course Melanie put the "Fun" in our Funicular ride. The guy next to me smelled. Took a brief tour of Sacre Couer, and enjoyed the views of the city. Walked through the touristy area, and it was "eh". But then we got lost on the way down and saw some cool clock and paper shops. Saw kids coming home from school, called the girls from the street and were briefly sad cause Maddie was crying.

Finally we found Moulin Rouge - yeah, not that impressive. I saw the lamp from Christmas Story - long legs, sexy stockings - in one of the stores nearby. Kind of tells you what kind of area it was - kind of sleazy and gaudy.

We went to our hotel, and then ventured out to Arena's Lutece - an ancient Roman Arena where gladiators would fight to the death. We waked up and down for about 40 mins trying to find this place, and stumbled on it by the Grace of God. On Friday nights, it now acts as a soccer field for old and young. I tried to loosen one of the rocks to take home (it was a cheap souvenir, and old), but couldn't get it out.

Went to dinner on the street off Saint Michel - had Beef Burgundy and Mel had a steak. I'm sure we had crepes or something as well.

Day 6
Enjoyed a Jamboni (it's Jambon, but I called it Jamboni) Omelet and hot chocolate at the local cafe. Melanie ate a Jamboni sandwich and apricot pastry (they don't serve Quiche for breakfast, but they do serve sandwiches).

Today's first stop - Pantheon. Saw the final resting place of all of France's most important people. Reminded that even the smartest, most important people die. Melanie tried to lock me in a tomb. Spent a few minutes trying to interpret the signs...I dont think we learned alot.

Went to the Musee Cluny - saw 1,000s of years of history in in 1 hour. Saw cool unicorn tapestries (each one represents a sense), and ancient Roman bathes. Saw sculptures from the original Notre Dame facade.

Notre Dame - toured the inside. Very cool - reminded me of the cool Dwarf halls from Lord of the Rings. Saw the beautiful stained glass and rows of candles and such. Cool to look at, but didn't feel the spirit at all in that place.

Couldn't go in L'Opera, so we looked from the outside. I wondered if they ever performed Phantom in there.

Galeries Lafayette - shopped for cute kids clothes for the girls. Got Abby and Maddie cute European style dresses and a coat, plus pens with feathers and some puffy stickers. And bought Abby a cute hat too. Marched over to the grocery store where we picked up another couple of pastries, some chocolate bars for friends and family, and some Pate for Gigi.

Raced through Madeleine shopping area trying to find Paris' oldest toy store. Couldn't find it, so we stopped and ate one of the pastries.

Marched to the Place de la Concorde - saw the obelisk that Napoleon brought back from Egypt, and the plaza where the infamous guillitone was. Ever since reading about the French Revolution and having nightmares about the Guillotine, it was interesting to see where it all was and to imagine what it might have looked like back then. They considered it a fast, humane way to die but I can't think of many other ways I wouldn't want to go.

Walked to Champs Elyses from Concorde. Stopped at Laduree for the worlds best Macarons (not coconut but a type of elegant cookie) and a delicious Relgious (like a creme puff but with yummy chocolate creme pudding inside). The place was elegant, yes, efficient, no.

Took a cab to Cafe Rouquet. At this point, there was no price I wasn't willing to pay to not walk. We sipped Hot Chocolate in the cafe, looking out to the street and the activities. Off to the side was a dude doing fancy stuff with his umbrella for fun.

Came back here to Hotel Saint Jacques. Let the swelling in our feet subside - watched the only English TV channel for an hour, and headed out for Gyros down the busy tourist lane.

Raced to boat ride from Pont Neuf on the Seine. Barely made it. Enjoyed sitting for an hour - the most I think we've rested except for sleeping. Saw everything again, this time from the water. Admired this beautiful city, but we're both ready to go home.

A brief note about the food.

We've eaten our way through this city as well...had some good food and some not so good food. Enjoyed pastries at every turn, more than a couple of crepes, the best chocolates I've ever had, and fancy desserts. But the dinners were just so-so. The salad dressing tastes like fish vinegrette. Turns out that Melanie likes Foie Gras; me, not so much. I do enjoy hot goat cheese on salad though.

Today we broke down and had Big Macs. We were hungry and tired of French food. Those Macs tasted so good.

My favorite and only crepe we bought here was been Nutella and coconut. Yum.

The pastries and bread are stunning works of art. If I were here I would be HUGE from eating them - they're everywhere, and I never had anything bad to eat from one of them.

The Hot Chocolate is yum as well - tastes like Gigi's recipe from Christmas.

Hotel Saint Jacques
Loved the location of this hotel, most of the Latin Quarter was super accessible and lots of cool things to see and do. The room looks like it was from the 1800's - I think that's when this bed was made (kind of teasing). The doorframe is super small, and the key is one of those old school ones. You leave the key with the attendant when you leave, and he gives it to you when you arrive back. The downsides? Well, it's super loud from the street and we continually hear little scooters going by. Also, we can hear our neighbors, and they presumable can hear us. Last night it sounded like they were coming in our room - maybe they were. Finally, we think the place is haunted. It has to be, it's too old. However, it's so loud that there's no way we would hear anything spooky such as creaking of doors or chains. That's par for the course here.

Conclusion

I'm so glad we were able to do this. We had a great time, and although the timing wasn't what we would plan, it was simply a beautiful time to visit. Just a little rain, not too cold, and not crazy crowds of people. I don't think there's much more we would need to do, so we probably won't be back till the girls are ready.

Viva La France

Paris, Day 3

Look, this trip has been mostly work to this point. Which is fine, because that's why I came. But I've really wanted to start getting into being in Paris. So tonight I was fortunate enough to go out with my friends Vanessa, Tarick, and Cedric. We went to a restaurant off the beaten path, but one that Vanessa really loved and which she thought I would like as well.

The place must have been 200 years old or something...really old feel to it. Had a great atmosphere to it, lots of locals just doing the French thing - wine, laughter, food. They eat so late, but really savor each moment and morsel. Something to be learned there.

The food was quite interesting. First, appetizers. They brought out the yummiest bread ever, just perfect crunch and texture. They ordered a cheese and meats tray, which ended up having a lot of yummy and interesting food. I don't know all that I ate, but some of it tasted like organs. The sausage was super fatty, which I guess is good. The meats were salty but savory, and the cheese was melt-in-your-mouth good.

For dinner they suggested I order a dish with white beans, meat, some veggies. I don't know if I loved it, but I will say this...I felt like I was in an authentic kitchen somewhere in the middle of France. It just tasted like home - like a big bowl your mom might give you on a cold night. I ate as much as I could, which wasn't much, and enjoyed the fact that there were huge bones and stuff in it. Very authentic.

Dessert was simply divine. They ordered a medley of dishes, and the chocolate was maybe the best I've had. The apple pie had a light and flaky crust, but super rich apples with spices and sugar. The chocolate cake...well, it was warm and soft and rich. The creme brulee was good as well, but compared to the others, child's play.

My friends were interesting and engaging. I really appreciated their speaking in Engligh. Sure, it would have been rude to not include me at all, but they went out of the way to ensure I had a good time, that I learned about their culture, and that we enjoyed the company. They also made sure that I got home safely via a taxi, which was nice.

I saw the Eiffel tower, and look forward to going up it. We ate near the Parthenon, which is where national heros are buried and where I actually want to go. They drove me past the Louvre, and a bunch of other buildings that I couldn't pronounce but which simply looked majestic.

Tonight was a great night. I took some photos of the restaurant, and will post them when I get home so I remember this night for a long time.

Glee

One of my new favorite TV shows this year is Glee. The pilot really rocked, and it's been tough for the season to compete. But the music and performances are really super, and there are enough funny moments to keep me going.

During the pilot the Glee cast performed "Don't Stop Believin". It was one of the best moments of TV for me in a long time - super catchy and fun, especially given the context.

I showed the girls the performance, and they loved it too and we've all been listening to it since. In fact, Maddie totally cranks that song and sings. We've done duets to it, and when we play it in the car she totally sings the girl part and I sing the boy part. It's super funny to hear her singing the words "Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere."

Paris, Day 1

I arrived in Paris today after a grueling 10 hour flight (over the North Pole). Soren, my manager, said not to take a rest but to hit the streets and get to bed early - it's the only way to combat jet lag. So I heeded his wise cousel and had my first day in Paris.

I arrived at my hotel room, dropped off my stuff, packed my man purse and jumped on the metro. I was nervous to be doing this on my own. I'm not adventerous, or well travelled internationally. And other than a brief, 1 year stint with French in High School I really really don't know French at all (in fact, the only thing I remember about that class is my French name - Xavier!). Plus, traveling by yourself is a real stinker - even if I had a buddy to hang with it would have been better. All that aside, I conquered a fear today by heading out myself, and that's a good thing.

My destination was the Louvre. That place was freakin' amazing. I've never seen such a museum, and the size, scale, and grandeur blew my mind. I saw all of the biggies - Mona Lisa, Venus Di Milo, the Egyptian antiquities, the Greek and Roman statutes. I think it's comforting to see the past, because it helps us see our place in something bigger. And going through that museum was like taking a walk through time. Really, really cool.

I messed up on one of my train stops and ended at the Arc De Triumph which was cool. From there I looked down the Champs Elysse and a glimpse of the Eiffle Tower. Oh, and I saw a Mime (I wanted to kick him in the Chotch, but I restrained myself and just watched) and was hit up by a teenager from Bosnia for money (sorry girl, but all I had was 50 Euros, which is like $100 US dollars, and I couldn't part with it. And by the way, you were mean - asking me if I spoke English, watching me get excited to talk with someone, and then all you're doing is asking me for money...shame on you!).

All in all, I felt like I had a good start to my Paris adventure.

While laying in bed...

I decided to sleep in a little today, a gift to myself. I have no meetings, it's Friday, I'm leaving for Paris tomorrow, and I have been working my butt off lately.

While lying there, I listened to my family getting ready. I love to hear the hustle and bustle, and even with my eyes closed I can visualize what everyone's doing.

As I listened to Maddie I realized two things.

1) She talks about every 20 seconds. She's always talking, asking questions, interacting, making stuff up, being creative. She's a huge talker and has a serious gift of gab. And honestly she has a lot to say for being so small. She's very excited about her world, and that's really really fun to witness.

2) She laughs a lot. That makes me happy, because it means she's got a great sense of humor - a must have in this world. It's also one of the things that I like about myself (that is, that little things make me giggle). I try to take a lighter look at the world, and I really hope she is able to maintain a great, silly, up beat outlook on life too.

Thanks Maddie, for reminding me that there's a lot to laugh at and many reasons for us to be happy.

Family vacation

Had a really nice time with the family this last week as we spent a week in Orlando. I love spending time with my girls, and really enjoyed playing with them and spending good quality time together. Swimming, playing, shopping, laughing - really good time.

Some highlights:

Spending time with Mel. We both work a lot of hours, and it was nice to not think about work and to spend some nice time with Mel. She loves vacations, and plans them so nicely. And for me it was really really great to spend time with the love of my life.

Abby and Peter got to fight Darth Vader in the Jedi Academy - they both gave him a good fight, and didn't go to the dark side! Maddie said she wanted to fight him too, but called him Dark Gator.

We love swimming in the OKW pool, and Maddie is making real strides being comfortable in the water. She's still very scared, but is getting a little braver. We also had fun with a new game called "Don't wake the gator" - where I close my eyes and listen for Abby to splash and then try and tag her.

It was great seeing Jake and his family too. Although I only got to spend a few days with them, it was awesome to see how Cody, Ella, Sam, Peter, and Kipp were growing and developing. It makes me so happy to know that all of my siblings have really really great families who are just really great people. I really enjoyed trick or treating with Cody through the Magic Kingdom, going around and around at each stop to get as much candy as possible.

Sleeping. I got to work late every night, and slept in the morning. It's fun for me to stay up late, and wake up late and a vacation where I'm getting up too early or going to bed at a set time just doesn't feel right.

Musings

Today I met with my VP to share the plans around a marketing campaign I'm building. He's a super sharp, super direct fellow who likes to drill deeply on anything and who can take the conversation anywhere. So the advice that we were given was "be prepared and know your stuff". True to form, he spent the first hour talking business and marketing strategy - no slides, no charts - just pure understanding of the business from every angle. It all flowed easily - the man knows our business, and sitting there he pushed me and my partner in ways that were terribly uncomfortable, but insightful.

It reminds me that MS is a great place to work for a number of reasons, but as I approach my first year anniversary I think it's amazing how much I've grown and how being around really REALLY smart people helps to sharpen you. If and when I leave, I don't imagine there will be any challenges that I can't solve or work through. That doesn't mean that I know everything - far from it. But I do think that I have more confidence to attack problems, collaborate, and get things done. When you're pushed and pulled and asked continually to do new and different things enough, you realize that you're up to the challenge. That's one of the great things that will come from this experience. It's hard, and frustrating, and challenging. And so many times I wish I were in a simple job doing simple things. But if this is the right place for me, and I think it is, then at the end of this adventure I'm going to be wicked sharp. Looking forward to that!

The creativity of a 7 year old

I wanted to post this fun video of a laptop that Abby built herself. When I came home from work one night she had this cool paper laptop that was really well thought out and creative. Here's the video. I was very proud of Abby for being so creative on this.

Born to dance

Tonight I was listening to some fun music on the computer (Pop Goes the World, by Men Without Hats to be exact). Maddie was standing there next to me, listening quite intently to the fun sounds and beats, when she said:

"This music is making my body dance".

The girl's a dancer, let me just say that. Her two favorite songs to dance to are 1) Taylor Swift's "Love Story" and 2) Spotlight from the Twilight soundtrack. We put those songs on (or any, really) and she just dances and dances and dances. She is quite the little dancer, with her moves totally in synch with the music. It's adorable, and funny to watch her so into it.

Maddie is an amazing girl who simply loves to sing and dance. She constantly makes up her own songs - I can't always understand the words, but I hear "Jesus", "Holy Spirit" and other words spread throughout. But she puts so much emotion and emphasis into her performances, it's impossible to not just sit there amazed. I wonder where she gets it...neither Melanie or I are terribly dramatic or musical. But she's just programmed that way.

Speaking of, I have an old Christmas CD in my car and she asks me to play "Where are you Christmas" from the Grinch movie. And the cool thing is that she knows the words, and sings the right notes. Maybe that's what we'll send out as video Christmas card.

Anyway, that's what this post is about - to celebrate a 3 year old who loves music and performance. I love to watch every little thing she does with pure joy and amazement. That's the joy of being a Dad.

The manipulation of a 3-year-old

A summer walk...

Tonight we went on a nice long summer night walk. There are a bunch of blackberries along the walk, so we brought a bowl and picked and picked and picked. Mel, Abby, and I got a lot of pricks from the thorns but were able to gather a whole big bowl so that Mel can hopefully make some jelly sometime soon. Maddie sat in her stroller the whole time eating "literally" the fruits of our labors (except for teh time I took her to tinkle behind the stumps). As the CSO (Chief Safety Officer) of the family I kept one eye out for the bears - you never know when one might mistake Abby for a little jack rabbit.

As we walked home, the sliver of the moon was so pretty between the trees. Maddie said "the moon looks so pretty...but it looks like a piece fell off". Very cute, as always.

I gave this talk on Sunday

The title of my talk today is Waiting Patiently on the Lord.

My daughter Maddie is a tremendously sweet, smart, creative girl. But like most 3 year olds, she lacks patience. Many evenings she might say “I want to go to the park.” I must be very careful how I respond, because if I say “sure, we can go to the park” she will immediately interpret that to mean we can go to the park now. And if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” she will say “I want to go now”. And she’ll say it again and again until I can’t take it anymore. She’s very persistent, but not very patient.

Part of her lack of patience is that she really loves to play and really wants to go to the park. It’s a good desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the other part is that she doesn’t have a good sense of time, so if I say “we’ll go in a few minutes” that doesn’t mean as much to her. She wants it NOW.

In the eternal scheme of things I think sometimes we must seem like 3 year olds to Heavenly Father. We look up to him and ask:

When will I get married?
When will I get a job?
When will I have a family?
When will my health improve?
When will my children return to the Church?

These are all righteous desires. But they all have the component of time associated with them, and it’s in the waiting that we become frustrated. And it’s this reason that we need patience so much - because sometimes God’s answer to us is “wait.”

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His”.

Patience is closely related to many Christ-like attributes, but especially to hope and faith – because sometimes we are required to wait for the promised blessings of the Lord to be fulfilled. President Monson said, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required”.

I know that I’ve questioned Heavenly Father and his timing before, when my patience was tried and tested. Let me share one personal example.

When Melanie and I were first married, we looked forward to having children. That’s a righteous blessing, and our patriarchal blessings told us we would have children. So we had faith. And we waited. But year after year, nothing but frustration and hopelessness as we wondered what God’s plan was for us and our family. We were frustrated when people would say things to us or ask us when we were going to have kids. Of the many challenges that our family has undergone, I think this test challenged our faith and patience in God’s plan more than any other thing.

More than 7 years ago, during this time of great frustration and test of patience we were having a particularly troubling stretch. My sweet wife Melanie was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a series of treatments. Shortly after her second surgery we received a surprising call. Through the blessing of LDS Family Services we were selected to adopt a beautiful little girl. In the middle of this tremendously difficult time, the blessing that we had hoped and waited for was finally about to come to pass. The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. A few weeks later, and in the most unexpected way and time, our little Abby came into our home.

If we had it our way, and on our timeline, it’s possible that Abby might never have come to our home. A million things had to happen to us, and to others, to orchestrate that miracle. I think it’s safe to assume that had we been able to have children when we wanted to, we never ever would have had Abby. It wouldn’t have been part of the plan. That experience really helped us understand that God has a plan, and that when we are patient we will be blessed more than we could ever know.

I think each of you have had many similar experiences. The characters have changed, and the challenges are different. Some are bigger, others smaller. But each of us will face challenges or mortality. And when we patiently endure, we will be redeemed.

In God’s eyes, he sees us on an eternal journey. This leg, called mortality, is important, but it’s part of a long eternal journey. And when we patiently and faithfully endure the trials of mortality, we grow closer and closer to becoming more like our Father.

C.S. Lewis put it in a way that I love. He asked us to imagine that you are a living house. We invite God into our life, and ask him to rebuild that house. But like most things, this takes time and is harder than we thought it would be. At first, perhaps, we understand what He is doing. He is fixing the plumbing and repairing the roof – things you knew needed to have done and so we’re not surprised. But then He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts too much, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. And he is patient in this pursuit. God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy and he will continue to work on us, here and there, patiently building little perfect beings.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said this: “[The Lord] gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”

With patience we gain a better perspective. We realize that time is something that is only measured to man, not to God. We understand that the difficulties and challenges that we undergo in this life are only a small thing, and that if we endure it well we will be exalter.
Martin Luther King Jr. once said “unearned suffering is redemptive”. I think part of what that means is that when we go through challenges, when we patiently endure suffering, we are changed. Our faith is tested, but not broken. And patience is the attribute that makes that possible.

Patience is a lost virtue in today’s society. We demand things immediately, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So much is so easily gained, that we forget that every good thing that ever comes does so line upon line, precept on precept. My prayer today is that we will each step back and patiently wait on the Lord’s blessings. One thing is sure…it will certainly be worth it.

Yes, I play Barbies...

So yesterday was just a perfect summer day here in Seattle. The girls were outside playing Barbies, and I was inside for some reason until it dawned on me...I should go play with them. So for about an hour we played Barbies outside on the grass. It was so fun!

The King and Queen sent our little rag tag team to hunt for the "Book of Magic". So we found a little square piece of wood and drew lines on it so it looked a book and hid it in a bush. And we found some little pieces of flower that were yellow and made them into the campfire. We made sleeping bags out of leaves, and Abby made little a backpack out of little strings. Maddie picked some little strawberries and we cooked them over the fire. We just laughed, and talked, and created stuff, and were creative. It was so much fun.

Lately I've really wanted to do something fun and creative. I've been writing down the good stories that I tell the girls, and maybe I'll publish a little book outside of the one I'm currently working on. Maybe a complition of little stories for the girls. Maybe something more. I think in general it's good to do something totally different for your brain, and since I'm no good at music or art, I think I might have found a hobby. Stayed tuned!

Highlights from Maddie's prayer tonight

Thank you for Mom and Dad and Abby's shirt.

Thank you for the tables.

Thank you for flowers and trees that grow.

Thank you for Minnie Mouse.

Bless me and Abby when we get married.

Thank you that Abby and me can go to Neverland.

Bless the dogs that grow and turn into people.

My tribute to Melanie...

I have not done justice praising Melanie on this blog. Melanie has been my truest confidant, supporter, and advocate since we met and is the most amazing woman and wife in the world. Recently we celebrated our lucky 13th wedding anniversary. In honor of this occasion, I want to spend a few minutes honoring my good, sweet wife.

I guess the first way I think about her is how I'm different and better because of our life together. She has always believed in me, has helped me through the hard times, and been there to celebrate the good times. We've built our lives together, step by step. I know that I'm a better person because of her. Her encouragement and counsel have helped me to become a better husband, father, and person. Having her in my life is a blessing - and a miracle.

When we first met, she was a graduating Michigan Wolverine - one of the smartest, most talented students at one of the best academic institutions in the world. She could have gone to any school she was just that talented. She had planned for years on getting into a great college and had lots of choices. But fortunately for me she felt like Michigan was the place for her so she went there. For four years she studied, worked, dated, and did normal college stuff. And then we met...

The contrast between where Mel was and where I was is laughable. When we met I was a humble waiter by night, sophomore college student by day (at lowly Washtenaw Community College no less). I was driving a piece of crud Toyota Tercel, had a scant savings, but lots of hope and potential. What she saw in me I will never know. Her parents must have really wondered what she was thinking when she told them who she was dating. Her ex-boyfriend asked how she could date someone from "Ypsi-tucky". But we both believe in magic, and have felt it throughout our lives together.

Dating Melanie was like seeing light through the darkness. It was like living hope. It was all laughter, fun, teasing, flirting, kissing...there was none of the bad stuff, and all of the good stuff. We could spend days and days together doing nothing - doing homework, talking, walking, holding hands. It was magical. I remember early on before we told anyone we were dating we would run around the Institute holding hands in private so that no one would know we were dating. There's nothing like holding hands when you're young and in love. The newness of the touch. The thrill of new love.

We did a lot of talking too in those early days (still do). I'm not a huge talker, but I could sit with her for hours and hours and talk with her. It was so easy...it just flowed. And while we talked I would look into her eyes and see forever, in those beautiful green and hazel eyes. That Spring in Ann Arbor was bursting with life, hope, and of course, love. Three months after we started dating we were engaged.

One day after we were engaged I went down to have lunch with her in this super formal dining room in her dorm. There were all of these super elite women, but so we sat with them and ate like normal. When we told them we were recently engaged, they must have thought we were nuts. 23 and 22...so young to be getting married, but for us it was true love and so we made preparations for our wedding.

I have to say that those six months - the time from when we met to when we got married was absolutely magical in every. We both felt it, and still think and talk about it. All of these years later we both know that our marriage was meant to be, that it was something special, and that if we did things the right way we could have those feelings forever.

The fun thing is that the magic still exists. We might not have those exact same feelings, but we have new ones. The newness is gone, but each season brings a new experience that we can share together. We absolutely love being parents together. We are absolutely in synch in so many things. We are able to sit together, as equals, to plan and think about the future. Sometimes we have the most spiritual conversations, and other times we simply laugh our heads off. Today it's not new, but it's still magical and special all the same.

Anyway, I wanted to simply say that I love you Mel, and am so blessed to have you in my life.

Comic Con 2009...Wow

Comic Con is my favorite time of the year, and this year rocked. I've been so geeked out about it for the last couple of months and it didn't disappoint. Ok, maybe it wasn't as perfect as last year, but I had twice as much time to enjoy it and that made up for it in a huge way.


I geek out over the movie premieres and think if you like big, fun movies than there is no place to be other than Comic Con. Unfortunately, due to the "Twilight issue" we were unable to see any really great screenings like Avatar, Tron 2, New Moon, Alice in Wonderland, etc. We missed all of the really great stuff on day 1 but we did catch a cool panel with Sigorney Weaver, Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse), and Zoe Saldana (Star Trek). That was the highlight for day 1.

Day 2 offered much better fare. I saw the following:

• The Book of Eli: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman
• Nightmare on Elm Street: the dude who is going to play freddy.
• Where the Wild Things Are: saw the little dude who's the main character in the show, and got my picture taken with him.
• The Box: Cameron Diaz,
• Jonah Hex: Megan Fox, Josh Brolin
• Sherlock Holmes: Robert Downey, Rachel McAdams
• Pixar, Disney Animation Studios: lot's of great previews and updates, including 3D versions of Toy Story 1, 2, and Beauty and the Beast. Heard from John Lassater and Hayao Mizayaki.

The toys, prints, artists...all of it was really amazing this year.

My week in New Orleans...

So I've been in New Orleans all week. This place is an absolute den of iniquity...I've never really seen anyplace like it. The style and architecture of the place is really pretty, but at the root it's really about drinking, partying, and totall sleezy stuff (I will spare the details, but it's been totally over the top in the worst way - worst than Vegas to me).

Anyway, these events always mean the following has happened a lot: I go to parties to network and socialize because that's what we do in business. And of course, since I don't drink, I always look a little out of place. Happened again tonight when we went to a really interesting, yummy local place for dinner and of course everyone was ordering shots, beers, etc and asking me what I wanted. Then, I went to a "casino night" where booze was flowing like the River Jordan (they even had booze flavored Icee's). When I mentioned at the bar that I wanted a Diet Coke, the two guys I was with said in unison "what, are you LDS?" To which I always say "absolutely I am". I think people are always a little surprised but respectful. And I am always proud for who and what I am.

It's also nice to be in places like this because it reinforces my beliefs and commitments. I mean, if I wanted to I could go and do anything and no one would ever know. My friends even asked if I wanted to go to a strip club the other night. But it's so easy to say no and I'm glad that I have no desire whatsoever in these things. And when I'm surrounded by people whose idea of the perfect party is an open bar, I'm happy that the only place I want to be is at home with my beautiful girls doing nothing at all. Right now I think my head is in a good place - not perfect, but I have some parts of the puzzle in line.

The one thing I really hate about travelling is of course being away from the girls. I'm busy, and their life goes on whether I'm there or not. So we end up having brief little chats on the phone - but nothing meaningful. It's always a little "how's your day", "whatcha doing", etc. It's not like being home, which I really hate.

It made me think a little bit about prayer. I think a lot of times my prayers are light conversations...not the really good, deep, meaningful relationships type stuff that Heavenly Father wants. It made me think that he probably really wants these chats to be more personal, and that's something I need to work on.

Witch, Witch, Wizard

On Friday night when I came home from work there was an invitation from Abby to join her in her room at 6:30 that night for a Wizard party. It said to come dressed up.

When we entered, she had planned a really elaborate party agenda. Some of the highlights:

• Witch, Witch, Wizard - the Wizard version of Duck, Duck, Goose. Maddie and Abby could have played all night...Mel and I were good for a couple of rounds before we go very dizzy and tired from running in very small circles.
• Pin the bristles on the broom - Abby had drawn a very cute witch on a stick, and had cut out the bristles and we had to do our best to pin them on the broom. Whoever was closet won (Maddie, good job).
• Treasure hunt - Abby had drawn and hid different things from the world of wizards and hid them throughout her room for us to find.

It was the best party that I can remember, and I loved that she took the initiative and had the creativity to pull it off. I was really, really proud of her and thought in general how very lucky I am to have such amazing girls. I'm the luckiest Dad in the world.

Confession time...

I have the worst guilty pleasures...they really make poor Melanie's eyes roll. Two guilty pleasures that have this effect that I've re-discovered lately are Saturday's Warriors and My Turn on Earth. I've recently downloaded them on my iPod, and have been introducing the girls to these favorite stories and am so glad that they too are catching the bug.

I know why I love these two musicals. I remember seeing My Turn on Earth when I was a little kid, gosh I have no idea how young I was. There was a touring company or something that made its way to Michigan for some reason and my parents decided to take us. And I just really loved the music and the story for some reason, it just really appealed to me. Even today when I hear the music I just really enjoy it. And there's some great Gospel messages in there - if you can bear to sit through some of the cheese. Let me simply say I get really happy to hear the girls singing "My Turn on Earth".

In fact, as we were driving to Utah last week I put on My Turn on Earth and as I was listening I think I relearned something that I think is a real truth that I knew, but hadn't thought about for a while. In the song where Jesus and Satan are presenting their plans, and Satan is saying how he wants people to follow him, I think it really jumped out to me that God wants to create little gods, not little followers. If he simply wanted a bunch of mindless children he would have picked Satan's plan because on its face value it makes some sense and is the safe approach. But I think Satan had it wrong - God was willing to put us all through this mortal existence and the tremendous risk associated with it if it meant that we would receive the opportunity to be like God himself. It also made me wonder what kind of glory and power come with being like God that made him willing to risk so much.

I think Saturday's Warrior is a Kennedy favorite across the board. Again, I think I must've seen it when I was little because we all knew the story and music when one of us spied the VHS video on the Huron Valley Ward library shelf. So we took it home and watched it so much...and I don't think we ever returned that video. We would watch it, and sing it, and simply enjoy it. Again, the show is really cheesy and has a low production value to it. But when I think about the messages - the importance of an eternal family, the challenges and temptations of mortality, the great joy when those who are lost are found - it's a beautiful telling of the Plan of Salvation.

So there you have it...I've confessed that I just really love these shows. : > )

Tribute to my dad

Father's Day was Sunday, and I wanted to write a little bit about my Dad.

I think when I was younger, like most kids, I didn't really understand my Dad. I think kids look at their parents as heroes and as being bigger than life. This also means that we tend to view them in an unfair light I think, and I think I might have done that. Like most kids, I thought he should be perfect; I looked up to him so much. And unfortunately when he made mistakes I think it was disappointing and I felt like maybe I lost out on having that really amazing Dad that you see on TV.

But my view of my Dad has changed a lot of the last several years. I think it's because I'm more mature now, and because I am now a Dad myself. I think I've become far more understanding to the condition of my own Dad and this has allowed me to appreciate him all the more. And as I've been able to look at him differently, with a different lens, I think it makes my Dad seem far more human. I also have come to really appreciate him and what he gave to me.

One thing I really respect about Dad is that he is a man of many, many talents. If he wants to learn or do something, he does it. He is fiercely determined and when he sets his mind to something he just does it and he does it well. He has a belief in his own ability and self, and has made him the man he is on his own with little help from others. He's so independent! I really respect that.

My Dad is the reason we have the Gospel in our life. When he heard of the Restored Gospel, he seized on it and became a rock in the Church. Mom used to tell us how passionate and enthusiastic he was about it, and I give him a lot of the credit for taking that first step and being a pioneer for our family in the Gospel.

He also taught me and my siblings the love of family. Look, he has had 10 kids...the man loves kids. He might not be the most involved Dad, but when you aggregate the sum of years that he has devoted to his children you can see that he is a very committed, loving, dedicated Father. I really respect that, and attribute that own dedication to my own affinity for my children.

I remember many things about my Dad, but there are a couple of things that really stand out to me for some reason. One is that when he worked in downtown Ann Arbor he worked kind of close to a toy store. For a time period I would call this toy store to ask them if they had a GI Joe figure...they'd go a search and if they had one I asked the to hold it for me. Then I would call my Dad and ask him to pick it up for me. And he did, and that really meant a lot to me. He would also make the coolest grappling hooks for my GI Joe guys out of paperclips, and also carved little guns for me out of popsicle sticks. I wish I had those today, just to look at them.

Being a Dad is about sacrifices. In the movie Peter Pan Wendy and John are talking to their mother about their father. They are complaining that he isn't brave - almost like their embarrassed of him. The Mother wisely says that while their father might not have fought in wars or battles, he is nonetheless brave. She says that he has put aside his dreams and his desires for his family, and that some nights he takes them out and looks at them, but he always puts them back for his family. It's said much better in the movie, but I think it's very true and is a sentiment that I share about my Dad.

So on this Father's Day I'm choosing to forget the weaknesses or mistakes of my Dad. I'm so glad he's alive, well, and that I can talk to him every couple of weeks. I love my Dad very much, and am so grateful to have him, and for the part of me that came from him.

Do you think fear is a genetic attribute?

I'm starting to think it is...I've been fearful of all sorts of things my whole life, just like my mom. And it turns out that Maddie, who kind of is a lot like me, has lot's of similar fears. Just made me wonder...what do you think?

Superpowers

I've always wanted a super power...when I was a kid I used to flick my wrists like Wolverine in the hopes that I would someday have adamantium claws of my own. I would pretend I had Spidey's webslingers. I can still imagine what it would feel like to fly like Superman. Even to this day when I walk through an automatic door I pretend I'm a Jedi opening the door with the Force. (what can I say, I'm an big kid in many many ways).

Lately though I've been thinking about what Superpowers I actually might have. Some people call them talents. Others strengths. But when I think of what my superpowers are I'm truly grateful for them.

It's taken me a while to be able to recognize my strengths. Being a Kennedy, I'm naturally kind of self-deprecating. As a family we don't like to recognize our strengths. On the other hand, we celebrate when others recognize us and I think deep down we know that there's something special there. But it's still hard to come out and admit that we have some goodness going on there.

I think the Gospel has something to do with it - we're taught to not to be prideful. Also, our humble upbringing combined with our genetic makeup make us resistant to boasting. At least that's what I think.

But I've been thinking about what my superpowers are, I think they are the following:

1. I think people like me quite easily - almost instantaneously. I don't mean that I'm so cool or anything. But I think I must put people at ease or something.

2. People trust me - I think I'm unassuming and approachable, making it easy for people to open up to me. And I'm genuinely interested in people, their lives, and their stories so that I think that comes across in a positive way.

3. I'm smart (enough). It's a good combination of social skills and the right kind of smarts. Still not book smart, and not great at exam situations (couldn't be further from reality). But in day to day life and the right kind of work I think I'm smart.

4. I work hard. Because I have done it all (dishwasher, bus boy, server, retail nerd) since I was a kid I know how to work. I think a lot of people I work with think that certain things are above them. Because I've worked my way up the chain, I'm willing to do what it takes.

5. Friendly. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, but if I need to be I can be get along with anyone, anytime. I've had some doozy of co-workers and managers and I always get along with all of them.

6. Patient. Few things really ruffle my feathers. Because I had some really horrible experiences as a kid trying to learn things, I think I'm more understanding of others and willing to work with them.

7. Forgiving/empathetic. I can easily put myself in others shoes...I think this helps me be more forgiving and empathetic of others as they travel through life.

8. Funny. It's a certain kind of funny, but I think I do it pretty well.

Anywho, tell me if you agree/disagree. But I've been trying to figure out what I'm good at and I think these are pretty representative. I'm grateful for these superpowers. I sometimes wish I were smart like so and so, or handsome, or had a ton of musical talents or something. But when I think about those that I have I can't help but be grateful for them.

M&Ms

Nothing deep here...but I've been thinking a little lately about my favorite candy, Peanut M&Ms. After a lifetime of eating them, I've learned a few things.

1. Peanut or plain? Always Peanut. Something perfectly satifsying about biting down on the hard coating, hitting that little peanut inside, and the sweet and satisfying combination of flavors.

2. Serving size? One is too few...simply not satisfying. Three, kind of a mouthful. It turns out that two peanut M&Ms are the perfect mouthful.

3. Peanut M&Ms must be served at room tempature. Cold or chilled ruins it.

4. Regardless of what my friend Amy says, M&Ms all taste the same. There is no difference between the colors. I am color blind when it comes to Peanut M&Ms.

5. Where to buy them? The ones from a single serving container (such as you might pick up at a gas station) are good, but the best M&Ms are from a pounder bag (such as the kind that I get on my birthday or in my stocking at Christmas). Must be something in the packaging that makes them taste fresher and better. And avoid Peanut M&Ms that are sold bulk. They end up tasting like the Cinammon Bears in the bin next door.

Thanks for indulging me...send Peanut M&Ms if you want to thank me. And let me know if you agree or not.

Plus Size Love

In Feb 2007 while I worked at McCann they held a Love Song Writing contest to celebrate Valentine's Day. Having written some funny stuff in the past, I thought I would give it a whirl. My inspiration for this song, "Plus Size Love" was from an email that an odd co-worker sent out to the entire company. In it, she asked for a "Plus Size Model" to help model the wedding dress that she was making for her friend who lived in San Fran. She needed to make some tweaks to the dress, and needed someone to help her with the work. To help see if you might be the right size to qualify, she included in the attachment a picture of her friend, taken while at Comic Con.

It seemed like a true love story to me, so I composed a brief song that summed up the feelings of this Plus Size friend, on the eve of her wedding.

Here are the lyrics. Above is the video or here.

Plus-size love

Wookies and storm troopers – trekkers galore
But no love could be found on the Comic-con floor.
‘Til I saw your Spock ears – my heart skipped a beat
And I dropped the swag bag down at my feet.

You were there – in line for Bill Shat.
Looking so fine in your Revenge o’ Sith Hat.
When our eyes met, my heart it beat faster.
Like I was training with Yoda, Jedi master.

So here I am, in my dress that was sewn.
By a friend with a plus-sized model and flown.
For me to wear in our wedding o’ love.
With friends, family, and Picard up above.

And now, as one, we start out our life.
You as the husband, me as the wife.
I can’t help but think, oh how we’ve grown.
As we eat this fried chicken down to the bone.

Chorus

My plus-size love for you will not end.
Like Han and his Leia, lovers and friends.
My world goes warp speed when you touch my soft skin.
Together, as one, through thick and the thin.

I'm a geek...

I'm a geek for toys, that is.

I love toys. I mean I really love toys. Always have, always will. Kind of silly for an old dude to care about toys, but I like them plain and simple.

For the last couple of years I've been collecting different figures and toys that appeal to me. Right now that means figures, Robots, and cool collectibles. I buy them, look at them, and put them in boxes. Melanie thinks I'm nuts, and she's probably right. But when I talk with other people about what they collect, it turns out I'm not so nuts. My Dad collects Hot Wheels and Trucks. My friend collects Toasters. I simply like toys.

I still roam the aisles of Target, Wal-Mart, and Toys R Us in search of cool figures. And boy, there are some cool figures out there right now people. And with a little more disposable income I simply can't help myself. Recently I purchased these figures below. I loved these for one main reason: the size and the flexibility! A lot of figures are too rigid, have too many accessories, and just don't seem to be made for playing. So when I saw these I fell in love immediately. I would have played with these figures till they broke when I was a kid. So I picked them up, explained to Mel that's I'm a little nuts, and bought Spidey, Captain America, and Iron Man. I'm going back for more later this week cause I really like them.

Here they are...Nate, you should check them out.

I also love Robots...they're hard to find, but when I come across a unique looking classic robot I can't help but buy it if I can afford it. I also really love Japanese style figures and robots, but they're harder to find locally which is one of the reasons I love Comic-con. Lot's of geek out there.

I also really bought these little guys wooden figures below. I missed the first release of these wooden figures and just really like the whimsical feel and style of these characters. Someday they'll be in my nerd-space (if I ever have a nerd-space) sitting on a shelf. I don't care if anyone else in the world likes them...I love them and am glad I bought a couple - they're pricey but cool.

Someday I'd like to score this next robot...I love this! It's pricey though...more like art than a toy. I think when I finally get enough $$ to afford this guy it'll be front and center in my collection.

One last geeked out toy I bought that I really really loved. These are Mad Scientist Blocks. They are wooden, laser engraved, and the perfect play toy for aspiring mad scientists. I won't disclose the price, but I will say they're worth every penny.

Here comes the moon...

Abby wrote this song tonight.

Peano

here comes the moon
shining in the night
here comes the moon
shining in the dark
here comes the moon shining
i love to see the moon shining
every night i am so happy
to see the moon.

end

She has a little piano tune to go with it...I need to record it and share it. It's very cute.

Two more things:

Abby asked what Memorial Day is, and I said "it's when we remember our loved ones who have died". She said "when we have someone we love die, let's write them a note and tie it to a balloon and send it up to heaven.

Today at Maddie's school they learned about dairy. They tasted whipped cream, ice cream, milk, and all the kids were asked what their favorite dairy product was. All the other kids said Ice Cream. Maddie said "milk".

She sure loves her milky!

My little girls...

I'm so lucky to have little girls. I know boys are fun, and I'd love a boy to play with, to take to Priesthood session, to take home teaching, and to add a new flavor to the house...but really, I'm so happy with my girls. I'm a lucky lucky Dad.

I wanted to share a couple of things, just from today...

Maddie

I've never seen a kid so programmed for creativity or pretending like Maddie. She pretends ALL DAY. She has lately been telling us about her brothers and sisters, people who don't exist except in her little head. She is always one princess or another, and I'm always her prince (or monster, or whatever). She's Ariel, Aurora, Belle, Anastacia (her own creation). She does it up in a big way; there's always a new dress, a new dilemma, a new villian. She always relegates Abby to a secondary role (if she's playing Bolt, Maddie is Penny, I'm Bolt, and poor Abby is the Cat). And she always is telling us how it should go, what we should say, who's who...she's kind of a little director/producer/control hound...but it's cute and funny and it's all her.

Tonight when I got home she made up and sang this little song over and over and over. There probably weren't more than 10 words in the whole thing, but she kept singing and singing and singing. And when she was finished, she would run behind the couch and come out as another contestant and do it again. And this isn't simply singing...it's the emotion and drama in her face that makes it so dang funny and sweet.

Abby

Abby is the very most thoughtful kid I've ever met. Last week on her own she wrote a little note to Mrs. Burns and her little class in Kaysville to say hi and to let them know she liked her house. Tonight, for Mother's Day she gave Melanie 3 things....1) a little story book, 2) a note that said Happy Mother's Day, and 3) a recipe. Here's what the Recipe looked like (word for word):

Cookies By Abby

Ingrains
Milk
Sugar (she had this spelled differently this morning but she figured out how to do spell check and corrected it)
Flower
Cholet chips
Butter

Drenches (I believe this is directions)
1. First get out all the ingredients
2. Then put all the ingrains into a blender
3. Then put the cookie dough on a cookie sheet
4. Put it in the oven for 15 minutes

5. When it beeps take it out

6. Then you eat it.

There are adults who couldn't do this. And it's sweet to think that that's how she shows her love for her Mom.

Basically, I love being a Dad to girls. Last Saturday we were all sitting in the bathroom and I was painting Maddie's toes and Abby was painting her own (and doing a great job of it) and I just was so happy to have my little angels.

Favorite things...

Favorite products:
Burt's Bees Lip Balm.
Mango Haagen Daaz.
Ipod and ITunes (sorry MS).
Memory foam.
Comfortable PJ shorts.
Converse Chuck Taylors.
Ear plugs (for use to sleep and on the airplane).
DishNetwork.
DVR.
Diet Coke.

Favorite sites:
NotCot
io9
aintitcoolnews
Uncrate

What my grocery cart is filled with when the girls go out of town:
Doritos
Pop tarts
Oreos

Favorite TV shows (current):
Survivor
30 Rock
The Office
Ghost Hunters
Paranormal State
The Amazing Race

Better week...

This week I got through some big milestones and delivered some good work. Got some good props too. Lot's of visibility for my project right now, and some key execs are watching which is both frigtening and rewarding. When we had completed our work, I sent the announcement email to my GM, who forwarded it to my VP. Wow, that's huge. But it got better when my VP sent it to BV and KT - great recognition and opportunity for me to increase my visibility. I've got GMs visiting my office, and lot's of people throughout the org who are telling me what a good job I'm doing. I'm not trying to be overly prideful, but I also think it's important to enjoy the recognition and take the kudos when they come. And it's nice, to have been struggling for 6 months or so, and to finally getting into a groove. I felt better about my job this week, no question.

Found out that I'll be presenting in Beijing and Singapore next month...kind of crazy to think about little old me doing that, but cool as well. In general, my attitude about this job is to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself so that when I come to the end of it, I can say that I've done it all...presented in front of execs, made tough decisions, managed large groups of people, presented in front of an audience. I hate alot of that stuff, but it only gets easier when you do it. And this job puts me in front of a lot of tough situations that are going to test me, and push me. But this is my extended B-school experience, and I've got to do this stuff here and now. So I'm going to do it. The other challenges that I've faced are:

• Launched and managing my W7 v-team...managing a team of 15-20 people each who will provide a key to my success.
• Presented in front of execs (still planning to in two weeks when I'm in front of G-ggs).
• Present updates and provide guidance on monthly conference calls to 70-100 people.
• Getting other people to pay for the stuff I need to succeed.
• Managing a huge project on limited resources.

Tons more, but I'm tired tonight. In general, this is a tough part of life right now, but a great opportunity that I'm seizing every chance I can.

My prayer today was...

Thank you for blue skies and pink trees.

I needed that.

Maddie calls her hands...

Paws...so cute! Didn't want to forget it.

Onward and upward...

I love the ending of the Chronicles of Narnia. I shant spoil it, but there's this wonderful part where all of the loved ones from the series appear, one by one, and start running towards this mountain of unfathomable size. As the run, the go faster and faster and higher and higher...all heading for turns out to be Heaven. One of them (Maybe Reepicheep?) keeps saying "Onward and Upward".

That's the kind of mood I'm in today. It's been a weekend of sorrows for our family. First, we had to put Spooky to sleep. We couldn't bring Spooky with us, Abby's so allergic to him, and I couldn't find a home for him. So it came to that. I loved Spooky. Sure, he wasn't nice to the girls, and yes, he was kind of a grumpy cat, but I did love him. I'll never forget when Melanie brought him home, how little and sweet he was. How he'd perch on my shoulder and chase lasers and just in every way be a cat. Towards the end it was hard to have him. But I think about the beginning too, and miss that little kitty. I believe that when this life is over, all of the good things of life will be there in their pure form. And I believe Spooky will be there, and I look forward to holding him again.

Tomorrow the movers come to take away our stuff. The house we left today will never be the same...someone else will be the new owners. They'll make it their own, paint it their colors, make it their own. And they should, it's their right.

But me, I'll always remember it as the house that we built. It has all of us in it...everything about that house reflects us as a family.

Homes aren't just walls and roofs - it was a reflection of us. It was humble, but pretty. It was perfectly practical! It was always better than you expected. And it was comfortable and nice. Kinda like us Kennedys! Not the showiest, or flashiest, but consistent, reliable, practical and pretty. It was a great place to live.

I'll never ever forget playing with Abby and Maddie downstairs. You could be perfectly content and comfortable sitting on the floor - something I've always wanted (wink wink). And because the room was long and wide, you could play till your hearts content. We played Space Ship (think blankets, pillows, swords, and a doctor bag in case you got bit by a big spider). We played Treasure Maps (homemade of course...and with me playing several parts like Peter Pan and Captain Hook at the same time). We played soccer. And we made up games (like the one where I'd throw the huge exercise ball at them down the hallway at the girls. If it hit the door I got a point; if they stopped it they'd get one. It was a funny little game for funny little girls).

Outside living was nice too. I loved watching Abby and Maddie play next door with their little friend Sydney. They'd just walk over and play...easy peasy Japanesey as Abby would say.

I loved watching Melanie take such excellent care of the yard. She cared for every bed, weeded faithfully, planted trees, flowers, and shrubs that she thought would make it pretty. And it was beautiful thanks to her.

I'll even miss weedwacking. Only after five years did I learn how to do it so that it didn't wack the crap out of the grass. It's easy, I learned. Just a little pressure will cut it - no need to go full throttle when just a little did the trick.

I taught Abby to ride a bike out on that perfectly level sidewalk. I always wanted a sidewalk that was level when I was a kid. The only place I could ever ride my bike was on the scary Stony Creek road - not kid friendly at all! So I was thrilled to have that perfect sidewalk for my kids where I could teach them to safely ride their bikes. I'll never forget (thanks to the videos) watching her learn, then go go go.

There are too many memories to list. But that house was a tremendous blessing to our family, was the place where little Maddie grew up, and where we blossomed as a family. We will miss it. But he future is bright, and there are other happy times coming for the Kennedys.

So I think I'll end where I began. Onward and upward.

Open letter to my bros and sisters...

For some reason I really long to be with my brothers and sisters doing stuff like when we were kids, like:

I'd love to go to Bill Knapps and have dinner together. We could all look at those kids meals...the old ones, the lion, the tiger, the chicken. We could share bean soup and share a chocolate cake for dessert.

I'd love to ride home together after church, a ridiculous sight of all 8 of us crunched into that small Ford Escort. We'd all make fun of other people's funny church faces, recognizing that we were as grungy and backwards as we absolutely looked.

I'd love to go to a Stake dance with John, Mike, Jake, or Nate. We could do an award-winning lip synch, or flirt with the ladies. No one stood out like the Kennedys...in a good way.

I'd love to fight over a place to sit in front of the TV. I'd love to hear Mom say "Allah", her magical power that saved our seats so we could go to the bathroom.

I'd love love love to go to bed upstairs together as a family. I'd love to hear the stories, hear the songs, talk, make jokes, and slowly fade to sleep together.

I'd love to play G.I. Joe with Nate or Jake. I'd love to be Snake Eyes one more time. When I hold the figure in my hands as an adult, I know exactly what he can and should do. And I would love that feeling of escapism and creativity.

I'd love to sit around and hear a newly returned missionary (insert any ones name here) tell us about their mission. I'd love to see what gifts they brought us. I'd love to hear strong, powerful testimonies.

I'd love to hear Mom read a scripture or say a prayer. In those moments, rare as they might be, I felt the spirit and knew that she knew it was all true.

Those are some of the things I'd miss. I miss the sweet bond of having brothers and sisters who fight and argue but who also love each other deeply and sweetly. I'm lucky to have had that...and I miss it tonight.